12 Tips For Meeting Your Boyfriend’s Parents
Hey when it’s time to meet your boyfriend’s parents, just think of it as fun! You’ll get to know your boyfriend better and see who it is that made him such a special person. Allow yourself to look forward to laughing and getting to know them. To start out, frame it in your mind as a fun experience, these are probably going to be new friends of yours and if they raised a son nice enough to date you, chances are they are also exceptionally nice people. You have nothing to be worried about. Here are some tips that will help put your mind at ease about meeting the parents.
Dress with Tact
Well you definitely don’t want to show up looking like you’re going to a club but still be yourself. Don’t put too much time into thinking about what you’re going to wear because you really just want to be comfortable and be yourself. Be practical, if you’re going on a walk in the park, wear comfortable shoes. If you’re going to a nice place for dinner, wear appropriate clothes. Don’t wear something that’s going to scare them off that’s way left field if you’re super into a style of fashion, just be more neutral so they can get to know your personality and then introduce the attire over time.
Show Up On Time
Just leave yourself some extra time incase you get lost. You don’t want to keep people waiting or give them the impression that you’re unreliable. When you show up on time, it’s a little detail that just shows respect. You will also feel less nervous if you’re not rushing. You will have time to enjoy the entire experience if you don’t rush, remember this is a special moment for you, your boyfriend and for them. Consider it an honor to meet them and show up with a smile.
Bring A Gift
Nothing says I’m really excited to meet you like flowers, wine or a delicious treat. Maybe you could ask your man what your parents like and bring that type of pie or cake. Also be sure to ask if they have any food allergies so they can actually enjoy the gift. If you’re bringing a bottle of wine, make sure they actually drink and if you bring flowers, ask your boyfriend if he knows your mom’s favorite kind. Those little touches are just a way to show you put some thought into making the first meeting special and even though you haven’t met them, you care about them.so just gifts for boyfriends parents.
Offer To Treat or Split The Bill
Be prepared to offer to pay at least some of the bill. Be careful if you’re going to dinner with a traditional family that always has the man pay the bill because if you thought you would pay the bill and surprise them, you could actually be offending them on accident. It’s a good gesture to offer to contribute and don’t insist if they say they would like to treat. It shows that you don’t expect to be taken care of and that you are responsible.
Don’t Talk About Yourself The Whole Time
Find a balance in conversation between sharing information about your life and asking questions about theirs. Make sure you genuinely listen to what they have to say and you don’t act full of yourself. Don’t just list off all your accomplishments that you’re proud of either, be humble and remember, you boyfriend has probably filled them in on what he is proud about you for. Don’t ask them personal questions that might make them feel uncomfortable, just be natural and let conversation flow. Don’t overthink it and please don’t curse like a sailor even if they do.
The best thing you can do is to be yourself. You are meeting the parents of the man you’re in love with and they will like you for who you are not who you think they want you to be. People pick up on fakeness and you really don’t need to put on any fronts or lie about things. The best way to connect with people is to be genuine and not attached to if they like you or not. If you know you’re a good person and they judge you for something that is out of your control, that’s not your problem. You care but don’t try to kiss up to them because you don’t owe them your soul. Be respectful of their home and their rules and make sure you just try to be nice.
Ask If There’s Anything You Should Know
For example, maybe you should take your shoes off at the door or they have a big dog and you’re really afraid of dogs. Maybe there are some people not talking in the family and you shouldn’t bring up certain people or subjects. Ask your boyfriend if they are religious too. Ask your boyfriend if they drink and of course don’t go overboard with your personal intake of alcohol. This is just a good idea to cover yourself for any unknowns. Of course, things might come up and don’t freak out if they do, we are only human.
Keep The Conversations Positive
This is really important. If someone brings up something tragic or negative, it can spiral the conversation negatively. Do your best to continue to add positively to the conversation so you guys leave feeling uplifted and not down. This is meant to be fun and you should not be talking about how messed up the world is. Avoid talking about death, disease or job loss and just focus on things you like about your boyfriend or cool things you like about his parents like their collections, their carefully manicured garden or their healthy outlook on life.
Even if you and your boyfriend are inseparable, make the first time meeting the parents about conversation not hand holding. You have plenty of time to steal a kiss after you leave but don’t make them uncomfortable. They are just meeting you remember and you need to let them warm up to you. Some people are very uncomfortable with other people being affectionate in front of them. For instance, some families hug and kiss, while others keep their distance. Don’t make assumptions. Be aware of your body in physical space, that means sit up, don’t slouch, don’t put your elbows on the table and don’t sit like a dude, even if you usually do.
Offer Your Help At Any Time
While you’re meeting them, if you’re at their house, ask if they need help with anything. It’s also nice to offer them your phone number so if they need help with something you will do your best. Even if they don’t live close, lots of older people have trouble with computers and cell phones and don’t know who to ask for help. Putting yourself out there as ready able and willing is a nice gesture that could bring you closer in the future. When they need someone to help decorate for Christmas, maybe they will call you and it will be fun!
Don’t Text or Answer Your Phone
We all have a terrible habit of being on our phones these days so don’t let it ruin your first meeting with the parents. Whatever it is, it can wait. Don’t be texting or answering calls or emails, updating facebook status, posting to instagram or any of those devious activities because it all shows lack of regard for what you’re doing. Maybe just leave your phone in the car or at most, put it on silent and snap a photo of all of you.
Say Thank You
Before you leave, don’t forget to say thank you. It means a lot to show your appreciation and it’s a small gesture that once again, shows them you care. If you really want to show them you care, maybe send a thank you card with a photo of you and your boyfriend or of all of you. If they live far away be sure to try to set a time to get together soon so you all have something to look forward to.