Fake Friends vs Real Friends
While we do not like to admit it, we often must face the cruel fact that some friends are better than others. To realize what makes a friend a real friend and what makes them a fake or bad friend, we must look at their character and actions. When a crisis arises in your life or in the life of a friend, you are given the opportunity to realize who you are dear to and who is dear to you. When you need emotional support, which of your friends comes to your aid and lends an ear, and which only speak to you as if seeking some advantage? Which friends come to your support when you vehicle dies or when you need help before a major event? Which friends consistently claim that they are too busy when you need help moving or when you need advice? Fake friends may live next door to you, but you would not know it by their actions. Real friends can live an ocean apart from you, and you could feel as though they were sitting on the couch next to you.
Understanding the Social Scale
Real friends are those that you can rely on, who speak well of you, who defend you, who guide you along a good path, and who never lie to you. They will not share your secrets or speak in a slanderous way. Backbiting, insults, betrayal and misdeeds are neither an issue nor a concern. Some friends are good to you in person, but they speak poorly of you behind your back and cause strife in your life. Others will smile to your face, all the while being cruel or acting in an unacceptable behavior toward you. It is perfectly acceptable for you to associate with those who are good and to avoid those who are bad. The following list was created to help you better understand the difference.
Signs of a Real Friend
1. They care for you when you are in need. Whether you need emotional support due to a bad relationship, physical support with a task you cannot complete yourself or intellectual support when completing an assignment, a real friend will support you if they are able. You will do the same for them whenever you have the skills and ability to help them.
2. They will speak well of you to others, whether you are there or not. By praising your actions to others, they will make your life easier and more fulfilling. They do this without exaggeration and without being a braggart. With pure intention, they raise people’s views and understandings of your character.
3. They will defend you when others speak negatively about you. They will dispel lies, rumors and slander without hesitation. Speaking truthfully, they will make sure that everyone who has a misunderstanding of your character will be corrected. A falsely tarnished reputation will shine brightly due to their application of words and actions in your defense.
4. They will guide you along a path that is positive and commendable. They will steer you away from causing harm to animals, people society. They will remind you to not lie or to speak in a negative manner. By stopping you from doing negative actions, such as stealing, using drugs, or cheating on your partner, they will influence your actions in a wholesome manner.
5. It is of utmost importance that you treat your friends in this same manner. As you rely on them, they will rely on you. They will expect that you treat them well in actions, words and thoughts, just as they do you. For those friends of yours who are less than admirable, it is important that you treat with respect as well. By giving them your best and treating them in a positive manner, you may very well influence them to be better friends. However, if you find that you are mistreated or abused, then abandon their friendship. It is better to lose a burden than to keep one.
Signs of a Fake Friend
Someone shows that they are a fake friend:
1. By purposefully hurting you through actions or words, they have proven that they do not have your best interests at heart.
2. By ignoring you in your times of need, they have proven that they cannot be relied upon.
3. By influencing you to cause harm, lie, use drugs, cheat or commit any other unwholesome actions of body or words, they have proven that they are a negative influence to be avoided.
It is acceptable to forgive someone who occasionally harms you without intentionally trying to. However, it is important to realize that forgiveness of negative actions has the potential to spawn abuse. If you find that your good nature is being abused, then rid yourself of the negative influence on your life. You have the right, responsibility and duty to look after your welfare and the welfare of those that you care about.