Dating South African Men

By on April 12, 2015

I officially live in South Africa right now (though I spend half the year abroad) and as someone who has lived in both Sweden, France, America, Canada and England, I can tell you that there are differences in dating in different countries.

So let me share a little bit about the South African men. Who, by the way, tend to be pretty good looking…

Ethnic Diversity

Dating South African men can greatly vary depending on where the guy you are dating grew up. Is he Zulu, Xhosa, Cape Colored, White… There are eleven official languages in South Africa, which goes to say something about the ethnic differences. If you date someone who grew up in the Zulu culture it’s going to be different from dating a white South African guy.

If you want to find out about a specific culture, the best thing to do is to look into that culture.

I work in a township and raise kids from the township and the mentality in the township is very different from other parts of Cape Town, as well as other townships in Cape Town.

They’re Approachable

dating South African men

Not unlike Americans South African guys on the whole are very friendly. They easily chat up women, start conversations and like having a laugh.

Paying the Bill

Most South African guys tend to pay the bill for a woman. South Africa is a bit more European than, well, America though, so it really depends. I would say you should still offer to pay for yourself to see how the guy responds. If someone is a student, or isn’t making a lot of money it isn’t fair to expect him to pay the bill either.


There is a more American dating culture in South Africa than in Europe, like you actually go on dates with people as opposed to just hang out. However, the general idea is that you hang out with someone. If you start sleeping together after some time of hanging out together chances are you become exclusive. Of course, this isn’t always the case and each guy is different, so find out how your guy sees it.


In South Africa we have braais. Meaning we have barbecues. All the time. It’s one of the most popular ways to hang out with friends in summer. You bring your own meats, or veggies, and drink and then braai together. Typically there’s a lot of wine flowing at a braai. After all a lot of wine is made in South Africa.

They Love Rugby and Cricket

What can I say? Go Springboks? A great way to educate yourself on this is simply to watch Invictus with Matt Damon. The movie about Mandela and his wish to unite the nation through rugby. And he was pretty successful in his mission.

The men in South Africa don’t only watch sports – they tend to play them too. Many also surf. So there are plenty of fit men to go round!

It’s Not a First World Country

South Africa is not your average state in America. South Africa has a large population of which a very high percentage lives in poverty. There are townships everywhere and crime rates are extremely high. If you live in South Africa today you live behind fences and chances are you have an alarm and a dog too. Not to mention pepper spray and teasers.

As a result of this many men are fiercely protective. They are not the kind of people who back down in a fight.

They are also used to dealing with corruption and there are many rules in South Africa that can be broken. There are also many instances of rules that shouldn’t be in the first place. This, of course, affects a South African’s view of the world and how they deal with rules and regulations.

A lot of South Africans emigrate due to the problems in the country, but most really do love South Africa and work tirelessly with charities, trying to make a difference.

They’re Outdoorsy

This might be a bit of a generalization, given I am talking about Capetonians and not the rest of South Africa, but with an excellent climate and stunning nature, South Africans spend a lot of time outdoors. People tend to have dogs which they go for hikes with, or walk along the beach with. Surfing and being on the water is also popular.


There are many different accents in South Africa, some more easy to understand than others. I’m sure if you fall for a South African, you will fall for his accent too though!

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery


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