50 Funny Motivational Quotes

By on July 24, 2014






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Are you having a bad day?  Have you made plans that just didn’t go your way?  Sometimes on the road to success, you are bound to face some trials and tribulations.  The best thing to do is to always look on the bright side.  You are not where you were and things will get better.  The best thing to do during trying times is to find some inspiring material, and if it’s funny, even better.

1. “Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” ~Mindy Kaling

2. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~Oprah Winfrey

3. “Why sadness was created? So we could rest from laughing.” ~ Nelson M. Lubao

4. “Change is not a four letter word…but often your reaction to it is!” ~Jeffrey Gitomer

5. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” ~ Joe Girard

6. “It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it…You have to let people see what you wrote.” ~ Tina Fey

7. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” ~ Billie Burke

8. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” ~ Robert Frost

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9. “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” ~Lana Turner

10. “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” ~Henry Ford

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11. “I don’t know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, ‘I need to act like a man, or I need to tone it down to be successful.’ That’s a very good way to keep women down.” ~Zooey Deschanel

12. “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… The ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ~Steve Jobs

13. “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.” ~Dory, Finding Nemo

14. “Anybody that doesn’t make you feel good kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in life, the better.” ~Amy Poehler

15. “Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. “~Beth Ditto

16. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” ~Zig Ziglar

17. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ~Dalai Lama

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18. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” ~Benjamin Franklin

19. “Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.” ~Ellen DeGeneres

20. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” ~Mark Twain

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21. “You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.” ~Milton Berle

22. “Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.” ~Don Marquis

23. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.” ~Anonymous

24. “My nursery school did a production of ‘The Three Little Pigs.’ I played the third pig. When the wolf knocked on my door, I refused to get up and answer it because, to me, he was knocking the wrong way. I just lay there, snoring away on stage, fully immersed in my character. My dad turned to my mom and said: Dustin Hoffman.” ~Zooey Deschanel

25. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” ~ Robert Orben

26. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” ~Anonymous

27. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” ~Anonymous

28. “So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.” ~Tina Fey

29. “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~Marilyn Monroe

30. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~Bill Cosby

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31. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body” ~George Carlin

32. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears, bears will kill you.” ~Anonymous

33. “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” ~Capt. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

34. “I’m a person who gets better with practice. Getting older is awesome – because you get more practice.” ~Zooey Deschanel

35. “Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” ~Tina Fey

36. “I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.” ~Mindy Kaling

37. “There’s power in looking silly and not caring what you do.” ~Amy Poehler

38. “Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It’s a good thing you’re so voluptuous.” ~Chelsea Handler

39. “Just because I rock doesn’t mean I am made of stone.” ~Jim Carrey

40. “Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk.” – J.C. Penney

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41. “These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I’m going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I’m going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I’ll figure out how to do it.” ~Randy Glassberger

42. “I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.” ~Anonymous

43. “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” ~Anonymous

44. “I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I’m only six feet tall, so I couldn’t play basketball. I’m only 190 pounds, so I couldn’t play football, and I have 20/20 vision, so I couldn’t be a referee.” ~Jay Leno

45. “Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.” ~ Don Marquis

46. “If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven’t laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.” ~ Marlo Morgan

47. “Money won’t buy you happiness; but it keeps you in touch with your children.” ~Anonymous

48. “I’m old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I’d tell them where to put it.” ~Dolly Parton

49. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” ~Reba McEntire

50. “My model for business is The Beatles. They were four guys who kept each other’s kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. That’s how I see business: great things in business are never done by one person, they’re done by a team of people.” ~Steve Jobs

My hope is that these 50 quotes have made you laugh and feel inspired.  You should be in a better mood and be ready for anything that will come your way.  It’s always important for you to focus on the positive and laugh through adversity.  Keep your head up and keep smiling.





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