Dating South African Men

By on April 12, 2015

I officially live in South Africa right now (though I spend half the year abroad) and as someone who has lived in both Sweden, France, America, Canada and England, I can tell you that there are differences in dating in different countries.

So let me share a little bit about the South African men. Who, by the way, tend to be pretty good looking…

Ethnic Diversity

Dating South African men can greatly vary depending on where the guy you are dating grew up. Is he Zulu, Xhosa, Cape Colored, White… There are eleven official languages in South Africa, which goes to say something about the ethnic differences. If you date someone who grew up in the Zulu culture it’s going to be different from dating a white South African guy.

If you want to find out about a specific culture, the best thing to do is to look into that culture.

I work in a township and raise kids from the township and the mentality in the township is very different from other parts of Cape Town, as well as other townships in Cape Town.

They’re Approachable

dating South African men

Not unlike Americans South African guys on the whole are very friendly. They easily chat up women, start conversations and like having a laugh.

Paying the Bill

Most South African guys tend to pay the bill for a woman. South Africa is a bit more European than, well, America though, so it really depends. I would say you should still offer to pay for yourself to see how the guy responds. If someone is a student, or isn’t making a lot of money it isn’t fair to expect him to pay the bill either.


There is a more American dating culture in South Africa than in Europe, like you actually go on dates with people as opposed to just hang out. However, the general idea is that you hang out with someone. If you start sleeping together after some time of hanging out together chances are you become exclusive. Of course, this isn’t always the case and each guy is different, so find out how your guy sees it.


In South Africa we have braais. Meaning we have barbecues. All the time. It’s one of the most popular ways to hang out with friends in summer. You bring your own meats, or veggies, and drink and then braai together. Typically there’s a lot of wine flowing at a braai. After all a lot of wine is made in South Africa.

They Love Rugby and Cricket

What can I say? Go Springboks? A great way to educate yourself on this is simply to watch Invictus with Matt Damon. The movie about Mandela and his wish to unite the nation through rugby. And he was pretty successful in his mission.

The men in South Africa don’t only watch sports – they tend to play them too. Many also surf. So there are plenty of fit men to go round!

It’s Not a First World Country

South Africa is not your average state in America. South Africa has a large population of which a very high percentage lives in poverty. There are townships everywhere and crime rates are extremely high. If you live in South Africa today you live behind fences and chances are you have an alarm and a dog too. Not to mention pepper spray and teasers.

As a result of this many men are fiercely protective. They are not the kind of people who back down in a fight.

They are also used to dealing with corruption and there are many rules in South Africa that can be broken. There are also many instances of rules that shouldn’t be in the first place. This, of course, affects a South African’s view of the world and how they deal with rules and regulations.

A lot of South Africans emigrate due to the problems in the country, but most really do love South Africa and work tirelessly with charities, trying to make a difference.

They’re Outdoorsy

This might be a bit of a generalization, given I am talking about Capetonians and not the rest of South Africa, but with an excellent climate and stunning nature, South Africans spend a lot of time outdoors. People tend to have dogs which they go for hikes with, or walk along the beach with. Surfing and being on the water is also popular.


There are many different accents in South Africa, some more easy to understand than others. I’m sure if you fall for a South African, you will fall for his accent too though!

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery


  1. Avatar

    Tens daye

    June 27, 2018 at 7:47 pm

    I met a white South African man who wants to date me I private. He says his family would chastise his for dating a black woman. I live the USA and find it very hard to deal with this situation.

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 29, 2018 at 12:34 am

      The two of you may be interested in developing a relationship with each other. You are attempting to maintain a long distance relationship. You are also aware that his family does not support your relationship. Decide if you believe whether or not this relationship is viable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Tens!

    • Avatar

      Asia cole

      March 13, 2019 at 12:06 pm

      Tell him if you really mean that much to him, he will come out of the dark and tell the world how he feels about you!!!

      • web admin

        web admin

        March 13, 2019 at 12:50 pm

        Thank you for sharing your positive and supportive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Asia!

  2. Avatar


    May 28, 2018 at 1:53 am

    Hi, i am currently dating a South African from Johannesburg and though i have known him since the age of 14 and i am now almost 18 we have only dated off an and for the last 2 years or so. My issue is that his mother does not like me i am 17 almost 18 and he is 20 almost 21 (2 days and 3 years apart). I don’t know why i have been told b some that it is beacuse he is the baby of the family being younger then both his older siblings and also beacuse the son and the mothers have close relationships. I keep getting told i am not allowed to stay over due to simple things like hs attitude chnaging from dating me and me not communicating enough or paying enough attention to the family. Please help me learn what to do and what the real underlying problem is… i heard that africans can be very close and family orientated and i want to be part of this. I have been told i could bring over a milk tart?

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 28, 2018 at 8:15 pm

      The two of you have a long history and strong emotional connection. His family’s feelings toward your relationship are impacting your relationship with your partner. You may find benefit in speaking with his family about your thoughts and feelings. If milk tart will help support this relationship and you want to maintain this relationship, then bring one over. Have a great day, Catherine!

    • Avatar

      Asia Cole

      March 13, 2019 at 12:10 pm

      First girl make amends with the mother, if she is happy everyone is happy. Mothers like seeing their children happy. Second be more involved in the family, if you act like an outsider they will treat you like one, so pull up your socks and work hard for what you want.

      • web admin

        web admin

        March 13, 2019 at 12:51 pm

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We always appreciate when members of our community share their supportive comments. Please share more of your positive comments in the future. Have a great day, Asia!

  3. Avatar


    August 8, 2016 at 10:55 am

    I met a south african guy. He’s a nice man. His name is adrian and I really like him, but I dont know if he likes me too and beside that my friends told me that he’s too old for me because he is 34 and Im only 19 I really dont know what to do. I hate this feeling

    • Avatar


      August 8, 2016 at 11:20 am

      I really hate what Im feeling right now

      • web admin

        web admin

        August 8, 2016 at 10:29 pm

        In response to your other question, no, I do not know this person. Thank you for keeping him in relative anonymity.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 8, 2016 at 10:27 pm

      Do not concern yourself with social limitations like age. However, it is wise to be mindful of the effects that will happen to your social circles. If there are people who would be concerned about your relationship, it is possible that you will have your friendship circle adjust. That is normal in any relationship. If you want to further develop your relationship with this man, then speak with him directly and honestly about your feelings.

  4. Avatar


    February 24, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    hi guys, im a englishman, and just started dating a south african white woman originally from johanisburg, obviously i have a different culture, do you have any insight what she expects from her man, ( apart from the obvious ha!ha!) i here s/a men are more dominant with there women,? any advice and ideas to put me on the right track please ?

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 26, 2016 at 11:05 pm

      I am not entirely sure. There may be other articles about it online, or perhaps one of our readers has a better idea about what to expect from a South African woman.

  5. Avatar


    August 1, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    Like S.A.
    Lived there, still miss S.A.
    All my love to all living there.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 1, 2015 at 8:36 pm

      🙂 I have personally never gotten the chance to live there, but all of the South Africans that I have met have been lovely. Thanks for commenting, Fatima!

  6. Avatar


    July 5, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    Hi iam looking for a man amanda

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 6, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      We have a number of articles on Her Interest that could help you to get into the dating game. As for finding a South African man, you may want to check out dating sites or schedule a flight to South Africa. Good luck, Amanda!

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