What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?

By on August 14, 2018

One of the worst things that can happen to a woman is this: you’re in a seemingly great relationship with some dreamy guy you can’t get enough of. You went on a hot date last night and it was a hit! However, you woke up today only to hear the dreaded words: “I’m confused and just need some time to think about things”. Uhhh, what? It’s a joke right? Unfortunately not, and it is gut-wrenching. But before you flip out and wonder what’s wrong with you, let’s take a look at what this may actually mean.

Boyfriend Says He Needs Time to Think

Reasons He May Say the Dreaded Words We Never Want to Hear

He is Genuinely Scared

Let’s face it: relationships can be, well, rather scary. When you feel like you are falling in love with someone and they’re taking up your time and thoughts constantly, you can feel overwhelmed. And in some cases a man may start to feel this way when he is falling deeply in love with you. He needs to take some time to think about what love is and if he is really ready to dive in and be with a woman full time and let his emotions overtake him.

He Needs to Reclaim His Masculinity

When a man falls in love with a woman, he lets his guard down. All of the sudden he is a romantic lovey-dovey sap, and when a man realizes this he can become somewhat bothered, feeling like his masculinity is being taken from him. Yes, it is kind of silly, but men are all about being macho and strong and impressing females. If he feels like he is becoming to emotionally powered and feeling weak giving into his loving emotions, he may want to take a step back to simply redeem his testosterone levels.

He’s Not Interested

This is the one we all dread hearing, but unfortunately sometimes being ‘confused’ and ‘needing time to think’ are code words for ‘I am not interested and I may even be interested in another woman already’. If this is the case, it’s important to remember there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes relationships simply do not work out and the spark dies off; or in some cases, was never there in the first place.

reasons why your man wants space and what to do about it

How You Need to React

Don’t Panic

How you react to a man saying he’s confused and needs time to think is imperative. Show him you’re not crazy and not all about him. Show him you can be independent and strong and DO NOT PANIC! Yes it’s terrible to hear, but panicking and over-thinking is NOT going to help you in the slightest. Remain calm and stay cool- it is way more attractive than being the ‘crazy’ girl he never wants to see again.

Leave Him Alone

You certainly do not want to portray yourself as being desperate. Show him that you’re a strong woman that can live without him and he may become more attracted to you and realize you’re the woman of his dreams. On the other hand, leaving him alone will give you time to relax and GET OVER HIM! If he isn’t so sure about you, then don’t waste your time trying to win him back. There is a man out there who knows for sure that he loves you and it won’t confuse him to feel loving emotions.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He's Confused and He Needs Time to Think

Pull Back and Let Him Come to You

Keeping your distance from him and actually allowing him time to think can be the best thing for your relationship. Sometimes people truly just need some time to sit back, relax, and assess the situation. Pulling away from him and showing him you can give him his space without freaking out is a great way to handle the situation. When he decides he wants to be with you, let him come to you- and let him work for it. Show him you weren’t just waiting around for his answer. Have him come to you, never go to him begging for him to make up his mind and be with you.

Have you ever heard a man tell you that he is confused and needs time to think? How did you handle the situation and how did the relationship ultimately work out? We would love to hear some stories! BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER: DON’T PANIC! Sometimes people just need a breather!

83 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Kara

    May 18, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    the results of the Bar Exam. We took the exams together. I, too, was very anxious about the results. He told him that he was sure that I will pass the exams and he will not. I was really hurt but I gave him the space that he asked for. It left me really confused and felt that it was unfair because we were both anxious and that I, too, was not really sure whether I would pass it. So I just let the feeling of pain consume me for one month until on January this year, I couldn’t handle it anymore. One of our friends told me that he told her that he wasn’t sure about me anymore and that he doesn’t know if he loves me. So I talked to him and asked him if that was true and said yes. So I broke up with him.

    After a few weeks, he contacted me after seeing my facebook story happy with friends. I did not respond. I contacted him before Valentine’s to ask how he was doing and told me he was okay.

    Last April, we agreed to meet and talked about things that were left undiscussed. He asked me if I had put him out of my life already, I told him I still have feelings. He also told me that nothing has changed and that he still loved me. He also apologized to what he did to me and admitted that he was unfair for hurting me. But he told me that we still needed time as the exam results were not yet released.

    We haven’t talked for a month until the results were released this May. Well, he passed the exams, I did not. That left me hurt and devastated. But still, I congratulated him. He called me and told me that he will visit me and that he misses me. I said okay. However, plans have changed and instead, he invited me to his congratulatory party. So I went even though I felt a bit awkward with his family. But all of them were very welcoming and kind. When I said goodbye, he kissed me on my forehead, held my hand and told me he would visit me soon. But he hasn’t contacted me since then.

    I don’t know what to do because I do admit that I want us to get back together but he just gives me mixed signals and no follow through’s. I haven’t contacted him either since then because I want him to reach out to me first. My heart aches because my friends told me that all he keeps on saying to them is how much he loves me and that he is really concerned about me. But I feel nothing and he is not doing anything to affirm what he says. I am left confused because I plan to start studying for the exams again but my feelings are distracting me.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 19, 2019 at 7:47 pm

      You have stated that you want him to reach out to you first. This is an acceptable course of action, but waiting for him may cause him to feel uncertain about your feelings for him. Make a decision about what you want for your future. If you think that is would be beneficial for you to reach out to him, then do so. Ensure that you give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Kara!

      • Avatar

        Nadia

        May 25, 2019 at 11:36 pm

        I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. He actually never puts in effort, he always tells me how busy he is with Band and helping out his parents. I started to say this to him, that he never does anything, and i told him that people make time for who they want to make time for. he was telling me he loves me, then he got distant, we talked over phone few time after this happened, but it is not the same. he does listen but when i asked if he really wants to be with me he responded with ‘i have to think about it’ and i was sad, scared. I knew that if he really thought about being with me at the first place he’d say yes, so why the ‘thinking about it?’ i also asked him to think about why he never gives in effort, why he doesn’t do anything or take time, and we made a deal that he comes on Friday to see me (we live far away from each other) and on Friday we decided to talk things through, but since the day we argued he hasn’t texted me anything nice… nothing when he goes to sleep (he used to text me something nice) and now there’s nothing. yesterday as i called, he said he does love me and care about me, but why does he act like that? he has no time and he doesn’t give in any effort, maybe have I been too panicky and have i contacted him too much? what should i do? i really don’t want to lose him, but idk what he will say on Friday and i’m scared to find out. he said that it is 50-50 chance on what he will think. And he wanted us to be normal until Friday, but it is not normal, i am stressed and hurt.. and all i get from his texts are ‘do you want to talk a little?’
        I really don’t know what to expect and what to do until Friday.
        We do laugh when we talk on the phone, he did cry when i was talking about us breaking up and i showed him a present for him and he was so happy about it and also mad cause it was visibly expensive.. but i’m so confused on what he has to think and why does he have to think if he wants me…

        • web admin

          web admin

          May 27, 2019 at 5:33 pm

          It seems as though he is determining what he wants for the future of your relationship. His behavior is inappropriate, as he is forcing you to wait for him to make a decision. It is possible that he is going to end this relationship. Make a decision about what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Nadia!

  2. Avatar

    Angelina

    May 12, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Everything was going great for about 2years, however all of a sudden my boyfriend tells me that he is not sure about this relationship anymore. He says he still loves me but he’s confused. I have reassured him as to how i feel about him but he is still confused, So i have given him two weeks to make up his mind. I love him however i feel like i have tried everything i can to assure him, only he can make up his mind. Also there is something thats bothering him but he wont tell me what it is. So im just confused

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 13, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      He has informed you of this thoughts and feelings. He is uncertain about what he wants for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your concerns, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you. If he ignores you or treats you poorly, then you are aware that he is not interested in maintaining a respectful relationship with you. Have a great day, Angelina!

  3. Avatar

    Angelina

    May 12, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    Everthing was going great for about 2years, however all of a sudden my boyfriend tells me that he is not sure about this relationship anymore. He says he still loves me but he’s confused. I have reassured him as to how i feel about him but he is still confused, So i have given him two weeks to make up his mind. I love him however i feel like i have tried everything i can to assure him, only he can make up his mind. Also there is something thats bothering him but he wont tell me what it is. So im just confused

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 13, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      He has informed you of this thoughts and feelings. He is uncertain about what he wants for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your concerns, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you. If he ignores you or treats you poorly, then you are aware that he is not interested in maintaining a respectful relationship with you. Have a great day, Angelina!

  4. Avatar

    eca cole

    May 8, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    HI! My man actually said those words, he needed time and space, because he is unsure of our future. So I calmly gave him that, even encouraged him to take all the time that he needs. 3 days later (that’s way shorter than I was expecting), he messaged me. Basically, just asking how am I, things I’ve been doing. We’ve been like this for days now. But I am pretty sure that he is still not ready to give our relationship another try. What should I do?

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 9, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      He has reached out to you, but you are uncertain about what he wants for the future of this relationship. Make a decision about what you want for your future. Determine what type of person you want to maintain a relationship with. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. If he treats you poorly in the future, then do not maintain this relationship. Have a great day, Eca!

  5. Avatar

    Anna

    May 4, 2019 at 9:13 am

    my heart feels absolutely broken and I’m so confused and unsure of what to do.everything were perfect between myself and my boyfriend. we have been dating now for 4 months and he told me he loves me, introduced me to his family and we could just spend hours and hours together, although I only saw him once a week. after we had a misunderstanding of when we are seeing each other and he made other plans, I expressed my disappointment and told him that I need more time together,more than once a week. he was clearly upset about this and under alot of pressure at work, he went silent for a few days, and I had to ask him what is going on. only to receive a message saying he just needs some space and time to think.. he has alot of pressure at the moment and does not want to add to my stress or his… what does that mean? did he end our relationship in a subtle way? should I give him space, and for how long? without me feeling unsure of the future. I only replied with a message saying that I love him, and that our relationship is not worth letting go of. and i will give him space, he only read it and never replied. I can’t help but feel I’m to blame, yet everything was perfect a week ago. I’m trying not to message him and ask him what’s going on, as I’m scared I’ll just push him away even more. and I’m also not sure for how long I should wait.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 4, 2019 at 4:56 pm

      He has informed you of his thoughts and feelings. You have made the decision to not reach out to him. Determine what you want for your future at this time. If he reaches out to you in the future, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. For now, focus your emotional energy elsewhere. You will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Anna!

  6. Avatar

    Lala

    April 21, 2019 at 6:05 am

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. Things were going really well. Hes 6 years older than me and has spoke to me many times about wanting a serious relationship out of this and I reassured him that I would want this too at some point. Ever since i met him and until now, I have been working on my immigration papers and job hunt in country we’re both in (UK). At some point I had to leave the UK for a few weeks to get a valid visa to enter. He had a few conversations with me about how hard it was for me and how hes worried I might decide to leave the UK to go back home or how at my age, I might not want what he wants in this relationship. I have done my best to reassure him that I am staying for a long time and that I wont leave him to go back home and that I want the same things he wants. Two days ago, we made plans. He started acting all distant and weird. I asked him whats wrong and he told me he needs time to think cs he doesnt want to get his heart broken. He has been in two previous relationships where he dated non UK nationals and they eventually went back home. He said its not a break up, its just that he needs time to think and figure things out. The only reason he said hes bringing it up is bcs he cares for me deeply and things have been great between us. It hit me out of nowhere and I was quite emotional and eventually left. He hasnt spoken to me in two days. Im hurt and confused

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 22, 2019 at 5:23 pm

      He has informed of you his thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, people who have been hurt make the decision to hurt other people. His behavior was based on his experiences. If you want to nourish this relationship, then reach out to him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Lala!

  7. Avatar

    Emma

    April 10, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years but we have been fighting a lot recently and he told me he wants space. I also emotionally cheated on him so I understand he wants to have time apart from me. However, he hinted at breaking up but he hasn’t actually told me he wants to yet. He kept saying idk when I asked him if he wants to break up or not. Is there any chance he will forgive me? He won’t text me or talk to me anymore first and I hope he will give me another chance. We live together and it’s hard for me not to talk to him when he’a home. I feel like he’s waiting until school is over so he can finally break up with me. I really hope it doesn’t happen..

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 10, 2019 at 11:24 pm

      You have emotionally cheated on him. He has been hurt and likely no longer wants to maintain this relationship with you. If you feel that he is going to end this relationship with you, then speak with him about the future. Learn your lesson from this relationship, and apply that knowledge to your future relationships. In the future, ensure that you treat your partner with respect. Have a great day, Emma!

      • Avatar

        Sash

        April 21, 2019 at 3:59 am

        Me and my boyfriend were together for almost two years and he broke up with me a month ago. Because he wants to sort his life out before a relationship. But he still wants to see me and go out to places and be friends. And not that long ago he said he doesn’t have feelings for me as much but still wants to see me and be friends. But I still kinda have feelings for him but he said he needs some space. What do I do with him do I be friends with him even tho I still like him and he doesn’t for me and let him have his space and let him come back to me and text me.

        • web admin

          web admin

          April 22, 2019 at 5:20 pm

          He has decided to end your relationship. He is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you at this time. Since you are aware of his feelings, you should make a decision about what you want for your future without him. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life, as this will bring you many benefits in the future. Have a great day, Sash!

  8. Avatar

    Sarah Baldwin

    April 9, 2019 at 8:28 am

    We have been together for six months. He is my best friend and he tells me all the time that he loves me. We have always been in a long distance relationship but we have made it work. I recently moved to a different state where I know no one and have been stressed and anxious this first week. I regrettably put it all on him and he took it like the great guy he is. On Saturday he told me he just needed some time to think. The plan was for him to move up here as soon as he can. I was freaked out and asked him why but he couldn’t give me an answer and just kept saying that he needed time to think and kept referring to me as babe. After I told him that I will give him all the time he needed and reminded him that I loved him he texted me on Sunday saying that he still loves me and is thankful that I am giving him the time he has asked for. He even said he will call me in a couple of days. My heart is breaking at the thought of losing him forever because I really and truly love this man with everything and I know he loves me too. The waiting is the hardest part but if at the end of this we are stronger then ever before I will be okay. Is this a healthy way of thinking?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 10, 2019 at 6:11 pm

      His decision is entirely reasonable. He needs to take time to make a determination about his future. Moving is an important part of everyone’s life. He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you, and you have decided to wait until he gets back to you with his final choice. When he reaches out to you, ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with him. Whatever decision he makes should influence your actions in the future. Have a great day, Sarah!

  9. Avatar

    Brooke

    April 8, 2019 at 5:25 am

    My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for 5 months (3 year on and off relationshIp). He just got back from visiting me and kinda went silent. He then texted me the day after I tried calling saying “Hey sorry about yesterday. Its getting hard on me. I just dont know anymore. It’s hard to be apart. And idk I’m wanting to move. Idk I just need to think”. We were supposed to move in together and he was going to move out here. He said he’d call when he’s ready. But idk? Is it over?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 8, 2019 at 10:50 pm

      He has informed you about his thoughts and feelings. He is aware of the difficulty of maintaining a long distance relationship. Determine what you want for your future. If you want to nourish this relationship, then you should spend additional time with him in person. If the two of you do not see more of each other, then this relationship may fade overtime. Have a great day, Brooke!

  10. Avatar

    Alex

    April 4, 2019 at 11:39 am

    After dating for almost 2 years, my boyfriend and I decided we would take a break. For about a month we were still cordial but not dating. I went on a date with a guy and he knew about it. We worked things out and started dating again. He saw this guy message me and immediately shut down and told me we needed to break up because he needs time to think about how I could do this if I truly loved him. I have assured him in every way possible that it was a mistake. We ended on him still asking for space. He reassured me how much he loved me but he is upset and questioning if he can be in a relationship with someone that could go on a date with another guy. Do you think he will end up drifting away or do you think he really does just need time to heal and will want to get back together?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 5, 2019 at 12:17 am

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He asked for a break, and he has not chosen to be mature enough to handle the knowledge that you were with another person. You should make a decision about what you want for your future. Decide if this is the type of behavior that you want in a partner. Have a great day, Alex!

    • Avatar

      Veronica

      April 5, 2019 at 6:53 pm

      My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for seven months and we truly were happy together. We had arguments but always worked to fix them together. One day he randomly broke up with me saying he doesn’t see me in his future. We decided to not communicate for a while so he can gather his thoughts and I can gather myself. When asking him if he wants to be with me he only says he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what he wants with us or even his career path right now. I ran into him a week ago and he asked to come over one night. I agreed so for the last two nights he has came over. We talked a little bit about stuff and then the second night he said he doesn’t think it’s a good idea that we should be spending time together and all of that. He pretty much said if he does decide that I’m what he wants it wouldn’t be for a couple of months. He’s still trying to figure out what he’s doing in his college career and stuff so I understand. I want to wait on him because I know he genuinely cares and loves me but I don’t know how to cope with it. It hurts so much and I want to move on but I also really want to be here. I want him to feel secure in knowing it’s ok to not have it figured out at this exact moment. Am I holding on for nothing or is it worth waiting on?

      • web admin

        web admin

        April 6, 2019 at 4:59 pm

        He has informed of you of his thoughts and feelings. He is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. He wants to focus on his career, and not on your relationship. Make whatever decision that you feel is appropriate, but be aware that it is likely that his feelings for you will fade over time, as the two of you are no longer together. It is always beneficial to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Veronica!

  11. Avatar

    Micheala

    March 22, 2019 at 6:54 am

    My boyfriend told me that he needs time but yet he slept with a another girl

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 23, 2019 at 1:16 am

      Your boyfriend has decided to cheat on you. He is not interested in maintaining a relationship with you. His actions have ended this relationship. Determine what you want for your future without him. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Take this time to look inward and make a decision about what type of relationship you want to maintain in the future. Have a great day, Michaela!

  12. Avatar

    mercy

    March 20, 2019 at 1:15 am

    my bf of 1 year & half suddenly start to get distant and he said he needs space for 1 week to make things right he told me he is not sure when he thinks about our future he said that i want to be sure i want to love as much as you loved me and want to be a better person and a real boyfriend that i wanted him to be he really got me confused and makes me hurt when he said he don’t know how he feels about me right now and he need to over think about i don’t exactly know should i leave him and have my own life or wait for him to think and come back to because it his 2nd when he needs space after 4 month of love am obsessed why he being reacting this way

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 20, 2019 at 10:19 pm

      He has informed you of his thoughts and feelings. He is aware that he is unable to treat you with the respect that you deserve for your future. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. If he remains distant or acts inappropriately, then you are aware that he is no longer interested in nourishing your relationship. Have a great day, Mercy!

  13. Avatar

    Rocio

    March 18, 2019 at 10:02 am

    I told my boyfriend I was pregnant, we made the decision to have an abortion. He said he would support me in any decision I made and he would be there. Days later after my procedure he told me he didn’t know if he honestly loved me, he said he felt lost and unhappy and didn’t want to be in a relationship right now. He said that he needed time to mindelf he feel guilty for hurting me. He said it didn’t mean he wouldn’t want to be with me in the future he just needs time alone. I showed him a picture of my ultrasound he stated at it and I told him I didn’t fought for what I truly wanted because I wanted to have it. And now that he’s trying to leave me I want to fight for him and with him. He got up from his chair and locked himself up in the restroom and started crying. I think he is hurt and full of guilt so he wasn’t to be alone. But I want to heal with him and still be with him I told him I would do what ever it takes to make this work and if he needs time I will give him time, and respect his space I will do what ever it takes to make him feel whole again even if it means I have to leave him alone for a while, I told him I didn’t want to break up I stil wanted to be a part of him. He just told me he didn’t know… so now we don’t even know where we stand

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 19, 2019 at 9:00 pm

      The two of you decided to have an abortion. He seemed like he is was content with the abortion. After the abortion, he then decided that he may no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Because of this, he needs time alone. It is possible that he will want to nourish a relationship with you in the future. At this time, he needs you to understand his position. Decide what you want for your future. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Rocio!

  14. Avatar

    Carrie

    February 28, 2019 at 9:34 am

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months, but I have known him for 5-6 years. Recently I just had my birthday and things were going well, then I noticed on instagram that he was like nude pictures of girls. I confronted him about and asked if he was talking to them or just “looking”. He said just looking, but after that happened he started to become quite. Then the next night, I went and saw him on break from work. There we talked about how he is ornery a lot lately and he brought up the fact that he had a lot of things going on in his mind. From being over worked, things with his truck, etc. after taking I thought we were okay again, but I was wrong. On his next break he said that he feels we are drifting apart, that we may be better as just friends, but he doesn’t know. He said he needs time to think and that we will talk this weekend. My question is, do you think it is over? Or is he just stressed out about us getting serious to fast and being overworked? He tells me all the time that I am a great person but he just doesn’t know. I have agreed to give him time to think about it but how do I keep myself from overthinking the situation?

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 28, 2019 at 10:57 pm

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He believes that your relationship is drifting apart and he wants to speak about the future of your relationship. This likely means that he is interested in ending this relationship. There may be another influence in his life which is causing him to behave in this way. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Carrie!

  15. Avatar

    Melissa

    January 26, 2019 at 3:01 am

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 15 months. We had our ups and downs more ups than downs. When we have disagreements he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk. Sometimes he’ll shut down for days. Just yesterday I brought it to his attention I know he’s been active on a dating/social media sight and telling women he’s single. He said if stems from him thinking I was involved with someone else over the summer. Instead of coming to me and asking me about it he resorted to talking to other women. He felt if I’m doing it then why shouldn’t he. He told me he’ll do whatever it takes to fix it. I eventually asked him to leave saying we both probably need some time to sleep on it. He was mad I didn’t let him stay the night. Today I saw him he had to come pick up his car. I was ready to sort things out but now he’s not. I poured my heart out to him but he said just give him time. He needs time to think. He said he’s mad. It was messed up what he did. He feels some type of way. But he just needs time and asked me to please give it to him. I told him if he doesn’t want to be with me then just say so. He said if he doesn’t want to be with me he would just flat out say so. He said “just please give me time”. I’m confused because just yesterday he wanted to do whatever it takes. Now today he’s had time to think now he wants me to give him some time. I asked how much time…weeks, months, but he said he doesn’t know. He owes me a decent amount of money and said he’ll start paying it back in a couple of days. So this means I have to see him and the feelings and emotions will arise all over again then I have to get over the hurt all over again every time I see him when he brings me money.

    Please help! What should I do?

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 27, 2019 at 6:50 pm

      He has been neglecting you and telling other women that he is single on dating websites. It is clear that he is no longer interested in respecting your relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what type of relationship you want to maintain. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Melissa!

  16. Avatar

    Jee

    December 20, 2018 at 12:16 am

    Hi!
    He was my best friend and from past 6 years he loved me and had feelings for me. From last 1 year when I finally felt for him i saw that he was stalking a girl alot on his social media. When i confronted him he said he loves me it’s nothing to do with her. He lost his father in the same year and he is having work pressure as he is the only source of income in his family. Today he told me he is confused and needs some space. I dont understand what he means by confused here. Though 3 days ago he said he still loves me. Is it over? And if he needs space how do I give him space coz I miss him and end up texting him.

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 22, 2018 at 11:26 am

      You decided to confront him regarding his actions. This may have influenced his decision making process. He has explained that he was confused and needed space. He has said that he loves you, and that may be the case. Since he is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you at this time, then determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Jee!

  17. Avatar

    Harly

    December 1, 2018 at 12:32 am

    My boyfriend of a year has just done this. It’s scary, and hurtful because I have a 3yo too so theirs three of us in this limbo. We’ve been friends for 6 years, so he knew I had a child, he’s been there for me through all of it, so it’s not like it just happened. When we decided to start dating and move on from being friends, he said he loved me and my son and wanted to be the best dad he can be to my son, and be a family. Now he’s saying he needs time to evaluate our relationship. We were so happy, it happened within about two days. We didn’t fight, we didn’t argue, nothing seemed wrong at all. He’s super busy with work.. but I didn’t think that would be a reason to need time to think about us 🙁

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 2, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. His concerns may be related to stress at work. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. He is aware of how this relationship influences both you and your child. There may be something else causing him to feel confused at this time. Strengthen your relationship with your family and friends. Have a great day, Harly!

  18. Avatar

    Avery

    November 19, 2018 at 11:16 am

    I’ve been dating this man for 3 months, he even said he loved me. Shortly after, he started to pull away, and last week he told me he was confused and the more the thought about things, the more confused he became and that I have done nothing wrong. I freaked out at first, trying to reassure him and tell him how I felt, then eventually I told him that since he is asking for space, I will simply hope when he feels like talking that he would reach out to me. If I don’t hear from him in a week or 2, I am moving on. Is that awful of me? I do genuinely care about this man, was starting to fall in love, but I don’t feel it’s fair to just stop communicating. This has given me a huge red flag.

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 20, 2018 at 7:15 pm

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings. He informed you that he was confused about uncertain about the future of your relationship. It is reasonable for you to end this relationship. You deserve to maintain a relationship with someone who wants to maintain a relationship with you. You do not need to respond to his messages in the future. If you choose to speak with him, then share your kindness and compassion with him. Have a great day, Avery!

  19. Avatar

    Jessica

    November 15, 2018 at 1:53 am

    My boyfriend told me on Tuesday evening that he needs some “alone time” and that he is unsure of what it is that he feels for me. He knows that he feels something, but he is not certain if it is something that will ultimately turn into “love”. I told him that I respect his request for space and I have not been in contact with him since I got home on Tuesday evening. He said that he just needs us to take a step back. He did tell me in the beginning that he does run when things get serious and asked that we take things day-by-day (his sister told me this as well). We have been together almost every single day for the last 3 months, and we are in a relatively new relationship. I think that he has freaked out that we have gotten serious too fast. What do you think? How much time should pass before he either contacts me with his decision or when should I know to just let go and move on?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 16, 2018 at 7:48 pm

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. You have accepted his statement and have given an opportunity to determine what he wants for this relationship. Wait for him to reach out to you. If he contacts you, then share your thoughts and feelings with him at that time. You may continue to nourish your friendships with the people who are in his life as well. Have a great day, Jessica!

  20. Avatar

    Esther

    October 24, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    My boyfriend has just texted me this yesterday I did not respond I am NOT going to chase him when he gets over his issuesI may or not be waiting you can’t wait forever!

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 24, 2018 at 10:29 pm

      Your boyfriend has reached out to you. You decided to ignore him. He may not be aware of your reasons. This likely causes him to feel confused, unwanted, and unappreciated. This may be influencing his behaviors. It is likely that he feels that your behaviors are your issues. This relationship will not be healthy if you choose to not speak with him. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Esther!

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