What to Do if You Have a Crush on Your Boss
Even if your boss looks like Brad Pitt or Zac Efron, having the hots for him is probably not the hottest thing in the world. Most of us would much rather swim in ice than date our boss. Unless you belong to the lucky few who work on projects that end within a few months and you never have to deal with the guy again, work romances can be tricky. That said, a lot of romances that start at the workplace turn out to be long lasting. You just have to be extremely careful and sass out the situation before it gets out of hand.
What to Bear in Mind Legally
Flirting at work can be considered sexual harassment and you can get sued, whether you are a man, or woman. Some businesses also have regulations against inter-company romances. Whilst it seems strange to try to regulate love, you must find out the policies up front.
Know Your Options
Are you willing to lose your job if you choose to date your boss? You have to seriously ask yourself this question. It’s hard to see reality when on pink clouds, but it’s a question that needs to be answered. As crazy at it seems right now, you may both get fired, he might fire you, or you may never want to see the man again if the relationship goes sour.
Remember people who you met that were great the first two months and then turned on you? Or whom you suddenly realized had some major flaws that didn’t come out until something specific happened? Your boss, whilst potentially great, has sides you probably haven’t seen. He may swear all he likes that he is a great guy, but you have to really get to know him before you know if that is true or not.
Often when we are infatuated we fail to see flaws in a person. If you truly want to get to know your boss, start as friends. Do not rush into having a sexual relationship with him. Rather let your hormones calm down a bit first. Remember there’s a huge difference between lust and love. You can be attracted to almost anyone you have some level of chemistry with – mental, physical or emotional. Love, on the other hand, is someone being there through the good and the bad. Let the guy prove himself before you jump in bed with him.
Test Your Feelings
Not only do you need to tread carefully with the guy, you also have to ensure that you have a fulfilling life, so as to know you aren’t just filling up an empty space by fantasizing about your boss. Decide now is the time to start exercising, do the hobbies you always wanted to do, join online dating sites and spend time with your friends as well as making new ones. Once you are happy with your life, you are better apt at determining your real feelings for someone else. Otherwise it’s only too easy to get over excited by a look, a touch or a conversation with someone you fancy, whether they are truly good for you or not.
Another point to this is that if you do choose the romance in the end, then you have to be prepared to potentially change jobs, or worst case scenario: be asked to leave your job. If the romance goes sour you might even want to leave your job. That’s when it’s essential to have great friends and also a great network to be able to find a new job. Besides, maybe doing some networking will lead to a better job, whether you have to leave your current one or not. So start networking before you start dating.
If You Choose Romance
If you decide you really want to test your feelings for your boss, then you have to get to know him. Office gossip isn’t great, so getting to know him in the office should be friendly, not flirtatious. And you want to, as mentioned, keep it slow pace.
Of course you have to encourage simple flirting, like meeting his eye across the room, to signal you are interested in the first place, but if you start meeting up, then keep it as far from the office as possible. Also bear in mind that even so, people tend to figure out sooner or later and even if you travel to the other side of the planet, you might meet a co-worker or a friend of a co-worker. The world is a small one.
Whatever you do, don’t send work emails where you flirt. They will be saved on the office server. Keep flirting to personal phones and emails that you don’t open at work.
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery
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