7 Signs of Love at First Sight
We’ve all heard of it. Most of us have dreamt of it. Is it possible though? It is. Because we do fall in attraction at first sight and can get infatuated with someone within minutes. The problem is that this kind of infatuation is based on a few things we’ve picked up on, not necessarily the whole package. So as not to get led astray if you feel super attracted to someone the instance you meet, you can look out for signs that they are the real deal.
He Talks Nicely about People and Takes Responsibility for His Life
If his boss is terrible, his mother a nightmare, his ex a drama queen and his best friend a lazy slob, what does that say about the guy? He might make it seem like it’s all the other people’s fault, that they really are terrible and putting him through some terrible things, but really? He chose to be around them (save his mother) and he is clearly enjoying sitting telling you bad things about them. If you are to be with him for a while, what do you think he will say about you?
It’s different if he says that he hasn’t made great choices with women in the past. Or he chose the wrong boss. Then he’s taking responsibility. The truth is we all mess up from time to time and we all run into people we wish we hadn’t, but that’s different from sitting bad mouthing them all day, or taking absolutely no responsibility for your own life.
A guy who talks nicely about the people in his life shows that he has the emotional maturity to surround himself with people worth spending time with and he loves and respects them.
Likewise, bad things happen to all of us. Some really seem like pure accident, but we can still play the cards we are dealt, rather than sitting around moping about them, or asking everyone else to feel sorry for us. We all need a bit of sympathy and TLC, but we also have to show we are willing to sort our own life out.
You Want the Same Things for the Future
If you are both wanting to live in the same city, you both want to lead similar lifestyles and you have the same idea about relationships, as well as potentially a future family, then you might actually have a future together.
Be careful not to project your own ideas onto him – just because he wants a house just like you want a house, your houses may, inside your mind’s eye, look very different from one another.
He Does Not Appeal to Your Broken Ego
Maybe you have a tendency to date a certain kind of guys that have done you no good in the past. Probably because your self-image isn’t great, so they just reflected what you thought about yourself. Whether they were flaky (but maybe very playful and good with the compliments), hard to get/emotionally distant, or down right abusive, they all confirmed one thing: you weren’t good enough for them. So if this guy seems different from that, then he might be the one!
He Does Not Seem Like the Jealous Type
You know the one – you can’t do anything by yourself, because he thinks so lowly about himself and everyone else that he thinks you will cheat on him as soon as he turns his back. This isn’t true love, this is torture.
So find someone who can admit to feeling jealous when you check out another guy, but who is sane enough to know you still love him the most.
He Listens and He’s Caring
He listens to you, not just to reply and talk about himself, but because he is genuinely interested in what you have to say.
He treats everyone, including the waiter, with politeness and kindness. He goes out of his way to make people feel good, not just to charm them to feel good about himself, but because he actually cares.
He Sees Beyond Your Looks and Charms and You Beyond His
Some men go bananas at the sight of a beautiful or sexy woman (and beauty and sex appeal is different to everyone). They will make up all sorts of things to make it seem as if this woman would be a perfect match for them, because they see them through rose tinted glasses. The problem is those glasses completely lead them astray and make them think the woman they just fell for is just like him, when really she isn’t.
Make sure he sees you, all of you.
Likewise, you have to take a proper look at him. Don’t weave all your hopes and dreams into his words and ensure that what he says is true. There are usually two sides to all stories.
He Lives a Fulfilled Life
We all have ups and downs in life and some years are rougher than others, but it’s important that someone is either showing he’s doing everything within his power to create a life he loves, or he is already living it.
The happier he is with his life in general, or at least showing he is on the path to happiness, the greater the chance of him not using you to take care of him, or as a buffer against what’s happening around him.
Women tend to want to save injured puppies, but it’s not as easy living with them.
Tip: It usually takes a while to see all sides of a man and it’s often best to wait to see how he deals with life in general to know if you really should fall in love with him – we only have one “first” of everything, so take it slow and enjoy the journey. Don’t get exclusive and emotional till you know what you are dealing with. If you really want to make someone fall in love though, science has shown that looking them deep in the eye whilst revealing intimate details about your life triggers people to fall in love. So does doing adrenaline fueled activities together.
Image Source: Pinterest.com
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery