How to Tell if a Guy is Gay

By on October 6, 2014






Have you ever wondered if your boyfriend is gay? Most women would answer this question with a very quick and confident “no”, but for others, the answer isn’t so simple. Maybe something just doesn’t “feel” right or you are starting to get curious by the way he acts. Well, now you can finally get the answer to this important question and put your worries to rest by putting your boyfriend through these 10 signs on how to tell if a guy is gay.

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1. He Checks Out Other Men

Your boyfriend will check out other women, whether he is with you or not. It is simply a subconscious behavior that every man does throughout the day without realizing it. But you say your man has never looked at a woman? Well the next time you’re out, pay close attention to where his eyes are roaming. If not women, is he checking out other men? That’s a definite sign he may be gay.

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2. He Seems Flirty With Males

Of course your guy has guy friends. But we all know how men act around their buddies. They’ll joke around and try to be the tough guy as much as possible. But does your guy seem a little out of place with his guy pals? Does he seem to be a bit more flirty than masculine? That could definitely be a sign that he’s playing for the other team.

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3. He Primps Like a Female

It’s certainly a well known stereotype that gay males tend to be a bit more conscious about the way they look and try to look “perfect” the majority of the time. Is your guy just a little too ‘perfect’? Is his hair always done nicely, his face perfectly shaven, and his outfit is as fashion forward as it could possibly get with matching shoes, scarves, and all? Does he spend more time than you in the bathroom every morning? Sure, he might just be very metrosexual and care a lot about his looks- but at least ninety percent of males aren’t like that. So pay attention to this!

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4. He Idols Over the Top Celebrities

Gay men love celebrities who live lavish, over the top lifestyles. They love it because these individuals aren’t afraid to be “out there” and have all of the finest things in life. If your man seems to idol celebrities with incredibly lavish lifestyle, for instance Cher or Whitney Houston, then he may be gay.

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5. He Watches “Girly” Television Shows

I don’t know about you, but most of my boyfriends have never wanted to sit through another episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” or “Glee”- or any other stereotypical “girly” show on tv. But if your guy seems to be up to date on all of these female shows, it may be a sign that he’s gay.

6. He Defends Gays

Most gay men will go out of their way to make it apparent that there is absolutely nothing wrong with gay men and they should be treated equally. And while this is absolutely true, most men won’t make this a usual topic of conversation. So, if your guy seems to bring up the gay community often and goes out of his way to make sure you know how okay it is, it may be a way for him to justify his sexuality.

7. He Hates Gays

On the other hand, some gay males (especially ones who are not ‘out of the closet’ yet), will go out of their way to show how much they despise gay males and the gay community altogether. It’s simply a way for them to try and hide their true feelings and make it seem like they are, in fact, straight. That being said, if your man tends to bring up the gay community in a negative way, and often, he might be trying to hide something from you- and maybe hide something from himself, too.

8. He Doesn’t Give You “Normal” Compliments

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When you wear a new dress or get your hair done, most men won’t even notice. And if they do, they’ll most likely say something like, “Wow, you look sexy” or “You look beautiful”. Those are just the normal things men say- they aren’t really ones for going overboard with hundreds of adjectives thrown into every compliment. But if your man tends to throw out compliments that are simply not masculine and way too fashionable, you may have a problem. For instance, your man probably shouldn’t be complimenting you on how well your black Gucci dress matches with your gorgeous high heels and how it would look even better if you threw on a leather jacket to tie the look together. He shouldn’t tell you that your hair looks lovely but you might want to go with a blunt cut since your hair is on the thin side. Hair and outfits are two things most men aren’t interested in nor know a thing about- unless he’s gay.

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9. He Isn’t Interested in Sex

Okay, let’s just be honest for a second: every straight male on planet earth is on a never ending mission to have sex with females. They love it! (Okay, we do too, but you get my point). If he is totally uninterested in having intercourse with you and doesn’t even attempt to make a move on you after several dates, he is either extremely, extremely shy or he just isn’t into girls altogether.

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10. He Spends the Night at His Guy Friends Often

As men get older, the idea of having a slumber party gets less and less exciting. In fact, the thought of having another guy spend the night is almost repulsive- unless they are best friends and one will be snoozing on the couch. If your guy is spending a lot of his time at a guy’s house- and overnight, too- he may be ‘seeing’ this guy in much more than a usual friendly manner.

 

Have you ever dated someone who turned out to be gay? What were the signs?





28 Comments

  1. Miyumi

    September 8, 2016 at 2:35 am

    I have a guy friend and he has a girlfriend the 3 of is were officemates, december last year this guy talked to me alot and even called me on my cellphone,he even wants to have a video call, at first i don’t really like him, but i gave it a shot, so i asked him if he likes me and as what i expected his answer was yes. We became fling from that time on. Kept on texting each other , late night calls, etc.. but sometimes he’s so sensitive, more sensitive than me,he talks about sexual fantasies and he even confessed about masturbating almost everyday, finding it weird but still i like him. I asked him couple of times if he was gay but his answer was firm-no! He always told me that our relationship should remain a secret since he has a girlfriend,one day we had an argument because i told my other bestfriend about our relationship and its been 3 days he didnt even contact me.. but some of my friends ive asked told me that this guy is gay. Even my boy friends told me he’s gay. Help me.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 8, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Your crush would be the best person to say if he is gay or not. I would actually be less worried about the gender he is attracted to and the fact that he has a girlfriend. While it seems like you have kept your relationship to just texts and flirting, it will someday be tempting to cross the line. If you do, you will never know if he would be just as willing to cheat on you as he was on his current girlfriend. If it were me, I would end the romantic aspect of the relationship until he is single again. When he is single, then you can date him. Good luck, Miyumi!

  2. Tifffany

    June 25, 2016 at 12:52 am

    I met this guy at work. At the first time, I had no interest in him, but then he started to show me that he was interested in me, by actions. I am a kind of person who is so sensitive to body languague so I noticed that he likes me alot. There were bunch of things showing that he cared about me and got nervous everytime we are together. And I responded to him secretly but enough to let him know I was interested in him too. Other people, when they see us, they can also feel something going on. And then one day, I decided to tell him I had feeling for him, I asked to see him after work but he refused twices, and then we sent sms to each other, and after me telling him, he say he’s gay… That really confused me because I couldnt believe that my instinct was wrong… also other people can see us as a couple… I dont understand… Could you please tell me if he’s really a gay? I can just easily point out if someone is gay, but this person makes me doubt my own instinct already… 🙁

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 25, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      Whether or not he is really gay is not a concern. He has told you that he is gay, and that means one of two things. Either he is gay and he is telling the truth, and therefore your relationship will not continue in the manner that you are wishing. If he is not gay, then he is a liar, and it would be unwise to seek a relationship with someone who is willing to lie to you.

  3. Renee

    June 15, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    I have been dating a guy for 6 months and I have met his parents, couples from work, and his daughter. He is very good to me by cooking dinner, giving me flowers, and spending time with me, however there is one friend that he has not introduced me to and he spends time with him often with his daughter present. They also go to Six Flags together when I am working on the weekends without his daughter (she is 8 years old). One night they had dinner and watched a movie together while his daughter played downstairs. I was off tonight (I am in school and I work 12 hour shifts) saying that it was my only night off and he asked his friend to go japenese steakhouse again with his daughter, I don’t understand why he would not invite me? I would not even question it but my guy will not open up to me–he says he cares for me but doesn’t have that butterfly feeling in his stomach. Never talks about future or how he feels. Sex is great but I just don’t want to waste my time either? Do you think he is gay and just is afraid for people to know and has me as a cover?

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 16, 2016 at 10:34 am

      Do not be concerned, this friend may be his best friend and many times those relationships are likely the most important in a person’s life. Don’t worry about this person at this time, and don’t worry whether or not he is gay.

      Some people have a harder time feeling love and opening up. This is normal. In time, maybe a few weeks, let him know how you feel and that it is making you concerned. If he cares about you, which is seems like he does, then he will understand your feelings and try to have the two of you meet at least once.

  4. Waqas

    June 14, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    I am 20 male. It’s this guy I met a few weeks ago. He is 17. I was at a departmental store and he helped me find some grocery. Later on I found that he works there. He was very nice and whenever I went to that store we greeted very warmly. One day I was on bike and saw him going home from his work. When he looked at me he stopped and we greeted each other warmly and then I asked him to drop him to his home. He sat behind me without any hesitation.
    Now I sometimes drop him to his home and we talk about general things like hobbies. future plans etc..
    Now I am still not confirmed that whether he is into guys or not. and the sad part is I can not ask him openly whether he is gay or not. On the other hand how do I ask him out and how do I start something physical with him. Today I was about to kiss him at the end of our meeting but I did not do that thinking that he might not like that. what to do admin. give me any advice.

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 15, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      Develop your relationship as you are comfortable, but be certain to be mindful about the age difference and the legality of such a relationship. If you feel comfortable with him, and he seems receptive, there is no harm in asking him how he feels about a relationship with you. If you are not fond of the direct approach, then maybe offer a conversation about civil rights and gauge is reaction.

  5. Rash2016

    April 8, 2016 at 6:17 am

    My online friend has just male friends added to Facebook profile.he talks only casual stuff nothing more since 2 years?is he gay?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 8, 2016 at 9:20 am

      He may just be more comfortable with talking to men than women. It is quite normal for this to happen, and it does not mean that he is gay. While it is always possible, I would not assume that your guy friend is gay just because he has primarily guy friends. If he never talks about girls and does not seem attracted to women, then he might be. Don’t confront him about anything though because, if he is gay, he may not have come out to himself yet. When he is ready, he will tell you that he is gay–and if he is not gay, he would not like being told that he is.

  6. Rahul

    March 4, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    Hi i am gay. Recently i found a handsome guyin the gym and i have a crush on him. Bt i am nt sure wehter he is gay/bi or not.1) we have chatted quite a bit well regarding workout kind of subject.
    2)We have more or less 3/4 sec eye contact and he is neutral(not negative)
    5)On last day when i was helping him to do ABS CRUNCh i simply put my hand under his T shirt and touched him during all 15 crunches. his response was neutral(not negative).
    6)thr were 2/3 time he showed me his body and asked about my opinions
    7)he didnt mention anything on “interested in’ coloumns on facebook. but i cannot see his friend list as it is hidden. and he commented like “NYc” NYC pose to some of the gals he followes or his friend.
    plz suggest
    Recently 8)i have asked him out and he agreed…
    9)he talks about gals but i hv never seen him cheking out the gals in the gym where gals r realy HOT.
    10) sometime he feels uncomfortable/unusual(most st8 gyz give it a look and say something) when i open my shirt and asks for his opinion.

    Plz help

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 6, 2016 at 11:23 am

      I am not sure. It sounds quite possible that he is gay, but he could also just be really comfortable with his body and sexuality. Go ahead and hang out with him outside of the gym and see how things go. If he is gay and interested in you, maybe he will make a move then. Good luck, Rahul!

  7. Leanne Strong

    February 19, 2016 at 11:00 am

    HI,

    Just some food for thought. Anyone can be uninterested in sex and still not be gay. And how many people don’t idolize over the top celebs? I have a boyfriend (I’m a girl), and I still don’t see anything wrong with gay people. I just think of them as people. I actually know a few people who are gay. One of my girl cousins, my aunt’s sister-in-law (uncle’s sister), and a long time family friend. I watch the British version of “World’s Strictest Parents,” on YouTube. On a couple of episodes, the ‘strict’ parents were gay couples. On the South Africa episode it was lesbian moms, and on the New Jersey episode it was gay dads.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 21, 2016 at 11:54 am

      I do not think that there is anything wrong with being gay; it is perfectly normal. The article was just written for girls who want to know if they are wasting their time on a crush or a relationship because they may (or may not) have a boyfriend who is in the closet. Relax! 🙂

  8. katrina

    December 19, 2015 at 4:14 am

    Hi, i have a really big issue. I have this guy friend that i’ve known for over a year now. I am really in love with him, but he doesn’t know. He’s studying advertising design and art direction and production. He’s in love with models and rihanna. He goes to the gym everyday and really cares about his looks. He’s always dressed fashionable and admires big fashion designers. I see him very manly like, and not at all gay. He hasn’t had a girlfriend for years, but doen’t look at men either. Many people think he’s gay, but there’s nothing for sure. He always smiles at me and we always text each other. He even flirts with me all the time, and the other day i was running and he came behind me and grabbed my waist. These things make me believe that he’s not gay, but i’m so lost. My question is, why are straight men beginning to look like the typical gay stereotype more and more? How can i know if he’s gay? thankss

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 21, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      If he flirts with you, then he is probably interest in you and could at most be bisexual. I think that the current metrosexual movement may be the reason you are confused. Don’t worry about it! If he likes you, he will ask you out at some point. From the sound of it, he has a lot of goals in life, so these goals may be keeping him from having a relationship with anyone for the moment. Good luck, Katrina!

  9. Emma

    November 10, 2015 at 8:18 am

    So I have this male friend (not in a romantic relationship) who always says he’s homophobic and has been saying that for many years, he is subscribed to some YouTube accounts owned by gay or bi-sexual celebrities and loves the show Ellen. Whenever I confront him he gives an indifferent response. I find this odd. He also hangs out with other guys often and has not dated somebody for two years. His friends always poke fun (not seriously) at him by calling him gay (they’re typical teenaged boys) and he gets offended by it. MOSTLY he is an extremely devoted Christian and goes to church more than twice a week. Any thoughts?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 11, 2015 at 4:23 pm

      If people normally tease him about being gay, that may be why he is so anti-gay or at least why he pretends to be. Since he goes to church twice a week, there is also a chance that he is actually attracted to guys, but he does not believe that it is the right thing to do. If so, it must be terribly confusing and difficult for him to reconcile his moral beliefs and what he wants with his attractions. He is lucky to have you in his life because your support must make a big difference for him. If he is gay (or if he isn’t), I would not bring up the topic with him. He obviously needs more time to sort out his feelings and figure out what he wants. Even he might not realize which gender he is actually attracted to yet, so just give him space and be there to support him no matter what the outcome is.

  10. Nancy

    October 12, 2015 at 3:51 am

    i was dating this guy and he broke up with me we really never had sex only a few times and he didn’t seem interested he hasn’t dated girls much im only the second one i think he’s gay i asked him and he denied it what do i do confused i still care about him

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 15, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      If you guys broke up and he is not interested in dating again, then there is not much that you can do. It is always possible that he is gay, but that does not mean that he was not attracted to you–human sexuality can be very confusing and fluid. More likely, he just is not interested in restarting a relationship that already ended because he does not feel like it would work out any better a second time around. He may change his mind in the future, but I would just give up and give him space for now.

    • JAD

      November 10, 2015 at 10:38 pm

      i had a crush on this guy and when i told him he said he was gay i didnt even know usually i know but he seemed normal.

      • web admin

        web admin

        November 11, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        It is unlikely that he would just have used that as an excuse as an easy rejection. It is more likely that he actually is gay and wanted to let you know why he could not date you. Despite the stereotype you see in the movies, many gay people are exactly the same as anyone else, so you would not necessarily know from just looking at him.

  11. Anna

    September 8, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    Hello, i am so confused
    I have dating 1 year and one day my bf told me that he watched male gay porn one time by curiosity and didn’t like. After that i started to see more signals like i saw him look at men. I have seen him look by 5 guys already, but i have seen him look at women too. Our sex is amazing he eats me out, he loves lesbian porn, he loves me too. I asked to him if he is bisexual 2 times and he told me that no. That he is not confused and know he loves women and don’t have any intesrest in men, but told me that was confused just as a teen in the past and he watched gay porn just by curiosity and didn’t like it. Should I ask him again and tell him that i have seen him look at men? I want to get married with him but i get scared, because i have looking at gay signals in him all the time.
    Hellp me

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 9, 2015 at 2:34 am

      It sounds like your boyfriend was either curious or bisexual. If so, I would not worry too much. He has been open and honest with you about everything so far, so he would express an interest in guys if he wanted to be with them. The fact that you guys have good sex together and he is being honest with you means that he is most likely just bi or curious about the same gender. Unless something changes, I would not worry too much.

  12. sinister

    July 19, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    I like this guy I met last year. I told him I like him and said we should only be just friends. Until now, we are quite inseparable. We even live together, well just recently. What baffles me is that he seems to do special things for me and he always tell everyone that I am the closest girl in his life right now. What baffles me is that he never dates anyone. He is a good – looking guy. Really popular and chicks dig him but he seems uninterested. What baffles me is that he checks on guy friends and goes out with them. He tells me he will go out with them and even tells me what they do. He even introduce me sometimes, either through phone or personally. The friends he keep seems to be gay or bi for me. Does this mean he is one of them to? Or there is a chance that he keeps me because he sees possibilities between the two of us?

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 19, 2015 at 9:54 pm

      Sexuality can be a fluid thing. Although he could be interested in just guys, or only guys, that does not mean that he is not interested in you. At the same time, it is very possible that he is only interested in other guys. He may be unready to come out, or he may not even have come out to himself yet. I would not hold your breath in the hopes that he is interested in you–he has had plenty of chances to ask you out or make things romantic, but he has not taken them yet. That could change later on, but I would not hold your breath. If you like having him as a friend, then keep him as your friend and do not push him to come out or to be more than just a friend.

  13. Andrea

    June 27, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    I am in a relationship with a gorgeous doctor for two years. He is my dream guy, tall, and smart and so handsome. We are together every weekend and take vacations together. We have never had sex. He has never touched my body. But all the time, he wants me to go down in him or give him hand jobs. He is obsessed with me touching his butt. It never occurred to me until two days ago, reading things like this online, that I think I figured it out. I believe he will not even admit it to himself. He is in his mid 60’s and has been married 3 times. Now, I think I know why all three wives left him. I do love him but since I just figured out what I think the problem is, the next time he calls me,which will be tonight, I am going to have to end it. Heartbroken and confused.

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 28, 2015 at 9:32 pm

      Although he could be gay, there could be other reasons for the way he acts. Are you guys waiting to have sex? Or have you talked about it before? If you expressed a desire to take things slow in that arena, he may just want this as an outlet. At the same time, you are right–it could express a desire to be with the same gender (even if he is unwilling to accept it).

      If you decide to stay in the relationship, you should talk to him about making some changes. It is unfair that you have always pleasured him, and he has never pleasured you. A relationship is supposed to be fulfilling for both people, and it is rather selfish and unfair that he does not fulfill your needs like you fulfill his. He might not be gay, but you should definitely talk to him about creating a more balanced relationship.

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