How To Start A Conversation With Your Crush

By on January 1, 2014






Yes, starting a conversation with your crush can be absolutely horrifying. Yes, the idea of even saying hello may have your knees weak and your stomach all tied up in knots. Getting the nerve to approach your crush isn’t easy, but that is exactly why we have written this exact article for you.

Getting the confidence to make a move is hard, but quite honestly it’s not as hard as you are probably thinking it is. Whether the guy you’re crushing on is the popular captain of your football team or he is the shy-artsy type who lays low in the back of your English lit class, he is still just a human just like you, right? We are fairly certain he will not bite you just for saying hello to him… At least we hope he won’t anyways! Don’t worry, the following tips are simple, yet effective in helping you start a conversation with your dream guy…

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Tip One – Just Relax

I know, I know, I’ve used this tip before many a times and no doubt you’ve heard it many a times too. The thing is, relaxing is the key to owning any social situation. Stand tall, smile and fill yourself with confidence.

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If you don’t believe that you’re amazing and he should date you then why should he? Before you speak to him, remind yourself about all the great things about yourself. What’s great about you? Keep them in mind when you’re talking to him and confidence and relaxation will ooze out of you.

There’s nothing more attractive than a girl who’s sure of herself, remember that.

 

Tip Two – Use Small-talk

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In most scenarios small-talk is just a way of filling the silence (usually the uncomfortable silence) but, when you’re talking to your crush and lost for words, small-talk can be exactly what you need.

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Sure, commenting on the weather or his plans for this evening aren’t all that exciting but more often than not they can help get the pair of you better acquainted and hopefully open up the conversation to something more meaningful.

 

Tip Three – Use Backup

If your crush is with his group of friends and seldom leaves their sides, don’t worry, you do not have to approach him alone. This task can be daunting and, all too often, can put us off the idea of starting a conversation completely.

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If you’re nervous, try getting one or two of your friends to tag a long for backup. They can distract his friends while the two of you hopefully hit it off. Just be sure not to overwhelm him if he’s alone, this idea is best practices when he’s in a group.

 

Tip Four – Let Him Come To You

This one really is a cheat in the game. Only because it is not you starting the conversation, or at least not with your words anyways. If you’re too nervous to even consider walking up to him and making the first move then you can always let him come to you.

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Of course, we don’t have a magic wand. This isn’t just going to happen because you want it to so don’t start thinking cheating means you don’t have to do anything. Letting him come to you doesn’t have to be hard however, you just have to find a way to show him you’re interested from afar and, in time, hopefully he’ll saunter over. If you’re in a room together try catching his eye and smiling at him, laugh if you overhear him tell a funny story, twirl your hair when he looks at you. This plan is not fool proof but, if you’re too shy to walk up to him, this is a pretty good place to start.

 

Tip Five – Use Social Networks

I’m not suggesting you Facebook stalk your crush or anything but, if the pair of you are friends online, liking a post or favouriting a tweet now and again can be a great in. You could comment on something and, the next time you see him in person, you can bring it up giving you an instant conversation. d6ee3267faf01c667e110825a974ba10

Rule one of internet flirting however, don’t be creepy. Don’t like every single one of his posts or share them etc. Keep it casual. He’ll notice you with very minimal effort on your part.

 

Tip Six- Use Body Language

Using body language is extremely important when it comes to starting a conversation with your crush. How is he going to know you are crushing on him if you don’t act like it? Don’t let him friend-zone you by staying too subtle.

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As previously discussed, try to use your eyes solely to speak to him without using your words. Twirl your hair again, give him a few smiles and adjust your body in simple mannerisms to reflect his body language. It is proven that body language helps when it comes to handling relationships, especially ones you are just starting up!

 

Tip Seven- Write A Note

Maybe you are the type of girl who has trouble finding her words. Do you choke up in social situations? Can’t speak straight sentences due to being nervous? Then this tip is for you! Writing notes may sound like an old-cliche (and it most definitely is!), but it is a cliché for a reason. It works, it’s effective in starting initial conversation with the guy you like.

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Try writing out an introduction and explain to him why you have a crush on him. Try not to come on too strong. Don’t over-explain your feelings, you want to leave a little mystery. Keep it subtle enough so that he will either write you back or start a conversation by actually speaking to you.

 

Tip Eight- Ask For A Favor

Asking someone for a very small favor is a great way to open up any conversation with someone. In example: Asking your extremely hot neighbor if you can borrow a cup of sugar for those cookies you never intend on baking. Another example is asking your crush if he has an extra pencil you could use or a piece of gum to chew.

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Do not get carried away in your favor asking. You want to make initial contact, not be a burden, right? After completing the task of asking for a slight favor, introduce yourself and use that small-talk we discussed previously.

 

Tip Nine- Text Him

It takes just a few simple gusts of confidence to say, “Hey, can I get your number?” If you really cannot find the nerve to do so, that is okay, don’t panic. There’s always the old trick of grabbing it from one of his friends.

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You do not want to seem stalker-ish, so if you choose to get his number from someone else, be warned, you must make it clear you are not trying to be a total creeper. You can say something along the lines of , “I know you never gave me your number, but I think you’re too cute so I couldn’t find the guts to ask!” And see where that takes you!

 

Tip Ten- Use Compliments

The best way to get someone to like you when you first light up a conversation is by complementing something about them. Did you see them reading a great book at one point? Do you like their haircut? Do you think they did a great job on their art project? Whatever it may be that you find yourself liking about them, use it when starting a conversation.

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Usually when you complement someone it lets them let their guard down and usually starts everything off on a super positive tone. Doing this will also make your person of interest more inclined to like you at first.

 

Tip Eleven- Use Current Events

Did something huge happen in the news this week? Did someone at your school or at your work do something crazy lately? Have there been any changes within life around you or your crush as of lately? If so, which we are sure there has to be something you can use, then use whatever it may be to your advantage and make it your conversation starter with the person you like.

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If you do not have much to use when it comes to starting a conversation with your crush, you can try out starting some talk with something you have heard about happening lately.

 

Tip Twelve- Figure Out Your Common Interests

This one may have you doing some serious digging and some heavy observation. Remember: Don’t be totally creepy! We cannot stress that enough. But it is important for you to pay attention to your crush and what he likes, dislikes, what they do for fun, what classes or music they favor. Pick out which of these things you also have interests in.

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Once you starting figuring out some of these things, then you can use them to start up a conversation by discussing what you also like and dislike with the person you find yourself swooning for. Try out something like, “Hey I noticed you were reading –insert book here-, I really liked it, too!” Or “Hey I heard you guys talking about insert activity here, I love insert activity again.”

 

Tip Thirteen- Bring A Treat

As weird as it may sound, sharing food is a great way to open up a canal for conversations. Bring some treats to school or work and share it with your crush. Use food as a crutch. This one is almost cheating, because it requires less confidence and less words. You can buy the treats at a store, but if you really want to get him interested, make them from scratch.

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They always say a way to someone’s heart it through their stomach. Give it a shot and see if it gets you where you want to be with that crush of yours.

 

Tip Fourteen- Make Sure You Feel Good

Yes, we talked about gathering confidence and maintaining the right amount of relaxation, but we forgot to mention that a huge part of doing so is making sure you feel good. What we are trying to say is: If you look good you, you feel good.

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Make sure that before starting a conversation with your crush you put on an outfit you feel good but comfortable in. You can also use mouthwash or breath spray to make sure you are not nervous about your breath and try putting on a perfume to gain some confidence in your smell. Wear your favorite heels or dab on your best lipstick and build yourself up before conversing.

 

Tip Fifteen- Use Flirting

We touched on the topic of using your body language to start a conversation. You are also going to want to keep in mind, once again, that you do not want to be friend-zoned by your crush. To prevent yourself from reaching that unwanted level, not only should you use your body language in your first convo with your crush, you will also want to bring your flirting skills to the max.

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Do not come on too strong, keep the flirting minimal, but make him aware of it. Use a small pick up line, keep incorporating complements in your conversation. Try using a flirtatious giggle once in awhile and keep making eye contact with him.

Using these tips will help you start a conversation with your crush in no time!

Comment and let me know how it goes or if you’ve got any experiences to share!





26 Comments

  1. andey

    January 24, 2016 at 4:55 am

    This has helped me so much, I love all ur romantic articles…I even have a boyfriend thanks to you!!!
    andey

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 27, 2016 at 10:27 am

      You are very welcome! I am glad to hear that Her Interest could help you out. If you ever have any other questions, just leave a comment. You can also let us know if there are any other article topics that you would like to see. Thanks for commenting, Andey!

  2. beryl

    October 11, 2015 at 8:36 am

    Hi, I recently met a guy& liked him.He came to our showroom to buy some bathroom accessories .He really tall and have a great sense of humour .He has come more than twice and bought some items .we used to communicate thru the office phone but one day I called him thru my phone and he told me to stop calling thru random numbers .I decided to text him after 5 days asked hI’m if I could keep his number but he said nothing .After some days he sent me a message very late around 10 pm asking me about the products he bought .Since then he calls and texts thru my number but only about work and the productstyle. How do I tell him that I like him without being obvious or direct.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 11, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      He might not be interested–he told you that he does not want to get calls from random numbers, and he never responded when you asked him you could keep the number. Since then, he has only messaged you about work-related matters. For the moment, I would hold off on telling him how you feel. He may not be as interested in you yet, or he might just view it as a work relationship. If I were you, I would wait on saying anything else and see if he naturally expands the conversation to include non-work-related things.

  3. Raya

    September 29, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    So there’s this guy, a friend, whom I text sometimes. A story leaked that I like him last year and I stopped liking him. Then all of a sudden he forgave me but now I feel butterflies in my stomach. I am too scared to even go up to him. He is in a grade one more higher than me and I don’t know. I don’t know how to approach him. Help me!!!

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 29, 2015 at 10:13 pm

      All you have to do is start by saying hello when you pass by him in the hallways. It does not seem like much, but it will get you and him into the habit of talking to each other and saying hi everyday. If he says anything other than just hello, you can always hang around and have a conversation with him. Also, you could try to look for opportunities where you could be around him like shared classes, group projects or parties. In the future, I would not worry too much if a story leaks out that you are interested in someone. In a way, this is a good thing because it is a way for that person to know that you like them and have the option of responding to your interest. Good luck, Raya!

  4. Namira

    September 29, 2015 at 2:51 am

    Idk if you remember me from one of your other articles (you have a lot of confusing people coming up to you everyday :P) but just today the guy I liked started taking the school bus and I talked to him about it today and he said sorry… but we still do talk I guess… we barely text, but its the same with everyone. I don’t know if he’s jealous of me and this other guy?? (We’re just friends that greet each other everyday when I see him) But one minute he’s trying to get my attention, the next minute he’s looking away and wanting me to get his attention? In the cafeteria I was talking with this person and I noticed him and whenever he looked at me I smiled and looked away… He’s really confusing me right now.. sometimes we pass in the halls and smiles at me, the next time we pass each other he’s looking straight up. Again, help please :\

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 29, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      It sounds like he might just feel nervous around you. The other guy that you talked to at the bus stop might be a factor, but he should have realized by now that you do not actually like that guy. Instead, it just seems like your crush is nervous. He wants to talk to and keeps looking at you, but he is too shy to actually do anything. Perhaps you could try talking to him in a group situation? If you have a group of friends around, you would be able to hang out with him without it being awkward and you may even get a chance to try talking to him. Good luck, Namira!

  5. Ana

    September 27, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    I don’t know what what to I have like this guy for 3 yrs. now. I did a horrible mistake to tell him a couple mean words. Now he ignores me and I think he is trying to make me jealous by talking to this girl so I have decided to make him jealous too by talking to this guy as well.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 28, 2015 at 1:28 am

      If you keep trying to make each other jealous and saying mean things, then you will never get to be together. If you have liked him for that long, you should just tell him how you feel. Otherwise, you could waste another three years hoping to be with him. Plus, it seems like he could like you. There is no way that he would try to make you jealous if he wasn’t interested. All you need to do is start acting like friends again and smooth things over a bit.

  6. Karen

    September 27, 2015 at 3:30 am

    Okay so there’s this guy I met during the last few weeks of school of last year and we would text all day everday. We would flirt and w.e and he would always go to the building I would hangout in and give me a hug and say hi. He would show signs of being interested. During the summer, we texted all day everyday, we would even call eachother and he did this really cute thing once where he called me at night when he was at this army camp just to hear my voice and see how I was. Lol that’s beside the point but anyways a few weeks after all that we stopped texting completely. But then now that school began when he would see me he would say hi and give me a hug and blah blah blah. But outta nowhere we stopped saying hi to eachother. We see eachother alot around school, like alot. Him and his friend would go to the building my friend and I hang out at and would just walk by us. He would sometimes do that twice a day lol. And during passing, to go to our next classes, he would take the route I would take. And at lunch, he would walk by my table alot. My friend even noticed it lol. So I don’t know lol, it felt like he would try to be at the places I was. Or try to get my attention. Because our school is pretty big lol, it has lots of paths, so why would he go through the building that I’m at and take a different way ? Lol It seems weird to me. My friend thinks the same, but I need an experts opinion on this lol Your thoughts ??? Thanks !

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 27, 2015 at 10:32 pm

      I think it is possible that he could intentionally be trying to cross paths with you. It sounds like he was interested in you before and wanted to be with you. After spending months talking and texting you, he may have just given up because the relationship never went anywhere. Although he may have given up hope, it seems like he is still interested in you. He has not started talking to you again because he does not want to just be lead on or end up crushing on a girl who is not dating him. At the same time, he can’t help being around you because he still has feelings for you and wants to be near you. Have you tried talking to him or asking him out? Did you ever talk to him about being more than just friends?

  7. Hannah

    September 25, 2015 at 11:37 pm

    I have liked my crush for 1 year now and all math classes except his player a math game in the hallway. He wouldnt quit looking at me. I asked my friend who went to school with him and she is friends with him,if he had a girlfriend. She said no and i asked my other friend who went to school with me she said yes. My other friend gave him my number and he trew it away and she told him it was my number and he asked for my number so she gave it to him and then he accidently dropped it and then started draging it with his foot.Our shared friend told him i liked him and my friend didnt have any clue that he knew. I don’t know if my crush likes me or not and im really confused

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 26, 2015 at 12:51 am

      I am really not sure what he is thinking. He has a girlfriend, or he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He wants your number, or he plans on throwing it away. Really, it seems like he is just confused in general right now. Unless he was just trying to be the class clown, I see no reason why he would drag your number along with his foot after asking for it. If I were you, I would just hold off on doing anything else. He knows that you like him already–between your friend telling him that you are interested to getting your number twice, he ought to know. If he wants to make a move, he can already be confident that you would say yes. Wait for him to make a move, and if he does not do anything, then you will know that he is not interested in you after all.

  8. gael

    September 25, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    How can I tell if this guy likes me? We only had a conversations thru txt, we teased most of the time when we talk thru text. When we were inside classroom we didn’t talk like we didn’t know each other, it’s awkward really. But we’re okay when we were texting. I can’t understand him if he likes me or what, he gave me so much mix signals. There were instances that we saw each other in the mall, he always ignored me like we don’t know each other. As I mentioned when we were texting we were okay, we teased.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 26, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      He could be ignoring you because he feels uncomfortable approaching you or he is worried that you will realize that he likes you if he comes up. He seems to be showing you through texting that he likes you, which would make sense since it is less intimidating to text someone than to talk to them in person. Although there is always a chance that he is not interested, it seems quite likely that he likes you and wants to be with you–congrats!

  9. Gisselle Alvarez

    September 19, 2015 at 12:01 am

    I’ve had a crush on this guy, I met him in 1st form but never actually talked to him or notice him. I recall running into each other several times, so many times but he wasn’t as important. Now, we ended up in the same classroom. As the days went by, I realized how great he was. I have a huge crush on him and decided to tell him today. He only said `That’s cool` which clearly means he’s not interested. So now I feel afraid to even look at him because he doesn’t feel the sane way I do. I just need advice on what to do if he talks to me about this. I told him through message so I don’t know his reaction to this situation

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 19, 2015 at 4:06 am

      If he is not interested in you, he will most likely continue with life and pretend like nothing has happened. If this is the case, then you do not have much to worry about. On the other hand, if he does talk to you about this, it could indicate that he does have feelings for you. The only real reason that he would talk to you about it is if he needs to tell you that he is interested or if he needs to tell you that there is a reason why he does not want to date right now (like getting over an old relationship or just being busy with school). He could have also responded with “That’s cool,” because he could not tell online if you were actually serious or not, so it is also possible that he could like you. Either way, I would just hold off on doing anything now. If he wants to make a move, it is up to him. Good luck, Gisselle!

  10. Sweetheart

    September 8, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    Is being obsessed to him will help on liking me , like always thinking about him, and how he act around u everyday to know he like
    u back

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 8, 2015 at 7:51 pm

      If you want to know if he likes you back, you should read his body language and mannerisms. We actually have a few articles on Her Interest that show the signs that your crush likes you back. Check them out and see if your crush does any of the signs. Good luck, Sweetheart!

  11. destiny

    August 30, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    to add on to my comment, I’m only 13 so I really hope this advice will be a bit easier for me considering I have him in one class and that he has the same break and lunch as I do

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 31, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      If you are worried about social anxiety, the only way that I know of to get over it is to get used to talking. If talking to your crush directly is too scary, try talking to a guy that you don’t really care about–that way, you can know that making a fool of yourself or acting ridiculous won’t really matter. After you get more used to talking to guys who do not matter, you can try approaching your crush. Since you have a class with him, you could ask him something as simple as what the homework assignment was or when the next test will be. Also, if you do not have seating assignments, you can try to make sure that your seat is next to your crush so that you have more opportunities to speak with him. Good luck!

  12. destiny

    August 30, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    this comment may be late but I have been doing some deep “crush problems searching” and I’ve read 3 of your articles involving dreaming about your crush, how to get your crush to like you, and this one. I have to say thank you, I think I’m going to try a few of these tips once I overcome my fear of my social anxiety getting the best of me!

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 31, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      I am glad to hear that our articles have been able to help you out. Our writers put in a lot of work to find the best topics and research them, so I am glad that their work paid off for you. Thanks for commenting, Destiny!

  13. consilia vicente

    August 27, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Dis so cute u knw

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 27, 2015 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you! I am glad to hear that you enjoyed it! Thanks for commenting!

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