How to Get Him to Propose – 7 MUST KNOW Tips

By on May 24, 2014






So you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time- we’re talking weeks, months, years- and you still haven’t gotten the ring. He tells you he loves you and you’re sure he’s the man for you. You want to spend the rest of your life with him, but he just hasn’t gotten down on one knee yet. What are you doing wrong? Check out these 7 must know tips on how to get him to propose!

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1. First Find Out: Does He Want to Get Married?

Men aren’t like women. Women (for the most part) are on a mission to find the man of their dreams, settle down in the perfect home, and chase after cute little rugrats with dinner on the table for their partner every night. But a lot of men are afraid- or should I say petrified- of the thought of marriage, and would rather avoid it altogether. Before you even think about a future saying ‘I do’ on the altar with your boyfriend, you need to first find if he even wants to get married. And hey, some guys just don’t. So if he says absolutely not, don’t take it offensively.

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 2. Evaluate: Is it the Right Time to Get Married?

You could take this a lot of different ways. First and foremost, are the two of you ready for this type of commitment? You need to make sure you know him well enough to be able to spend the rest of your life with him. After all, if you find out something you absolutely despise later on in the marriage, it could be grounds for divorce. Make sure the two of you know each other extremely well and have reached a certain connection that can’t be broken.

 

Secondly, you need to look at finances. A wedding typically costs a few thousand dollars, and that’s not including the dress, wedding cake, seating, and everything else that goes into your dream wedding. This could lead to a hefty bill costing you well over ten thousand dollars. And aside from an expensive wedding, you have to think about how costly it is to rent an apartment/condo/house, on top of other bills like electricity, cellphones, water, trash- it adds up pretty quickly. Are the two of you financially ready for marriage?

 

Lastly, is it a good point in your guys’ lives where you’re ready to take the plunge? If you’re both on the young side, it might be best to wait it out a bit longer to make sure there’s no problems. Or if someone is planning to move off for college, you might want to wait till after they are done. Perhaps there was a traumatic event in one of your lives which would halt you from giving 100 percent to the wedding and marriage. If there isn’t a clear path for the two of you at the moment, wait until there is ‘sunny skies’ before making this type of life changing and time consuming commitment.

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3. Think: Are You Pressuring Him?

If it’s been several months or years and he still hasn’t gotten down on one knee, you need to ask yourself this important question: are you pressuring him? Nothing scares a guy off from marriage more than a pressuring woman. He doesn’t want to be pressured (and don’t make me repeat myself!). This is not only scary to him, but is also a big turn off as you may come across as a needy gal. Don’t talk about your perfect wedding, don’t talk about when you want to get married, and most importantly don’t ask him when he is going to propose. He wants to be the man and make that huge decision on his own, so don’t pressure him!

 

However, if you do want to say at least one thing about your wedding dreams, let it be something in regards to your dream wedding ring. A lot of men halt their proposals for the simple fact that they don’t know what kind of ring to get their lady. The next time you two are walking through the mall and you come across a wedding shop, just casually mention which one you think is breathtaking. Then let it go and continue walking to the next shop. Totally casual, yet it will stick in his mind until he pops the question.

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4. Think: Are You Dropping Subtle Hints?

There’s a difference between saying, “I wish we were married right this instant” and “I wouldn’t mind spending many more fun, exciting, and romantic years together”, just like there’s a difference between “Why haven’t you proposed to me yet” and “What age do you see yourself getting married”. It’s totally OK to drop subtle hints, or mask your pressuring questions with a simple question that doesn’t really give it away. Subtle hints are the best and it also gives him the confidence to ask for your hand in marriage. I know we don’t really think it, but men get scared too- and nobody wants to be rejected. These little hints just let him know you’d say yes, if the question were to come up at random.

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 5. Act: Are You Being the Woman in the Relationship?

If your guy doesn’t feel like the man in the relationship, there is no way he is going to propose. That would be like proposing to his best friend, his mom, or whatever else he may think of you as. This means you need to cut down on the nagging or controlling nature you might have, and let him take the reigns. Being the woman in the relationship means letting the man be the top dog in most situations. However, that doesn’t mean you let him control you or the relationship. This simply means that he feels he is the strong, protective man he is, and you are there for him no matter what.

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6. Act: Do You Make Him a Better Man?

At the end of the day, men just want a woman they can come home to every night. A loyal woman who is there to take care of him, talk about his day, and make him smile. A lady who will stay by his side no matter what and always encourage him to do better. You need to make sure that you are that loyal, encouraging gal he’s always dreamed of, but be careful not to go overboard and act as a mother towards him.

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7. Act: Looking Good is a Must

Men fall in love with what they see, not what they hear. And when you’ve been with someone for an extended period of time, you might start to get… “comfortable”. Which to me is just a nice way of saying gaining weight, wearing less makeup, and throwing your hair up in a ponytail every chance you get. If you want to keep him intrigued and enticed for many, many years to come, you need to keep things interesting and always look your best. This doesn’t mean you need to throw on a pair of stilettos and your sexiest red minidress with hair glammed up to next week, this simply means take care of yourself. Eat healthy, go to the gym often, and look good when it’s appropriate. To put it plainly, if it’s 6PM on a Saturday night and you’ve already got your footie pajamas on, we might need to have a talk.

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 8. Last Resort: Conversation 

So you’ve tried everything, huh? You’ve tried dropping subtle hints. You are always by his side no matter what, constantly giving him the compliments and encouragement he needs- I mean, you even helped him get that huge promotion at work! But no matter what you do, he just won’t budge. Not to mention you’re both working amazing jobs and it couldn’t be a better time to get married. What gives?

 

If you’ve been waiting and waiting and still haven’t even heard the word ‘wife’ or ‘marriage’ come up in your man’s vocabulary, it might be time to sit down with your man and have a nice conversation about where you two stand in the relationship. Again, don’t come at him in a mean, nagging, or pressuring way. Simply ask him where he sees the relationship going. This is an easy, relaxed question that will give you the answer you need right away. He could have some evident reason he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet, or he might just be waiting for the perfect time. Whether he tells you what you want to hear or not, at least you can put an end to all of your questions.

 

There is nothing more aggravating, depressing, and annoying than being in a long term relationship and never hearing the words, “Will you marry me?” I can’t promise you these 7 tips will land you a husband, but I can tell you this: these ARE 7 of the most important things you can do to get closer to the ring. If after all this time and conversation you still haven’t tied the knot, it might be time to consider other options. However, I do wish you hear wedding bells in your near future.

 

Married women, what are some tips you could give that helped you get the ring? And for the girls wanting to tie the knot, did any of these tips help you?





14 Comments

  1. Seriously Confused

    September 12, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Hi everyone

    I have been with my BF for 7 months now however I have known him for like 8 years. I feel like i’m totally ready for marriage, even kids…all my friends are married and have kids (normally one or the other) and just the other day he said “if you are looking to spend your life with someone, you can count on me for that” eeeek i wanted to jump right in the middle of the road and do cartwheels but then just like every other girl, that feels like we need to now every detail…i started realizing that i wasn’t even sure what he meant! Did that comment mean he wants to marry me? If he has gotten to the point where he was comfortable enough to say that to me, does it mean a proposal is right around the corner?
    HELP

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 13, 2016 at 5:50 pm

      His comment meant that he has been thinking about a permanent life with you. Continue to remain close to him and be sure to share your honest thoughts with him. Be sure to not smother him nor be too distant and he will continue to nurture his feelings for you. What is most important is that you are happy. So take this time to look inward and determine what you want for your future.

  2. Selena

    August 28, 2016 at 11:31 pm

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We’re both 25. I asked him about marriage and he told me that he does not want to get married because he finds it pointless, he says it’s just a piece of paper, and he says he already sees me as his wife, the one. He said he will only get married because he knows it will make me happy. He said he knows that if he doesn’t propose I’ll leave and he doesn’t want me to leave. He is extremely happy with the way things are right now. But I want marriage….. please help. What am I doing wrong ? Am I wasting my time?

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 30, 2016 at 11:47 am

      You are not doing anything wrong, and neither is he. He feels strongly for you but does not believe in marriage, however he has shared his understanding that it is important to you. Tell him that it is important to you to get married and that it would make you happy. However, you will be in command of the planning and paperwork of the marriage as you move forward. Continue your happy and pleasant relationship as you move forward.

  3. Ann

    August 25, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Well I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10, almost 11 years, we have lived together for 8, and I’m still waiting for a ring. Our relationship is great, there’s never any drama. Of course, there’s disagreements here and there but, To be honest, I don’t really know what the hold up is. Marriage conversations are like taboo to them and I just don’t understand it. I also don’t get why we have to jump through all these hoops to make sure they are all comfy and cozy about marriage. How is that fair? We wait our whole lives to find that one person that you love so much and you wanna spend the rest of your life with and then you can’t mention it without pushing them away? How does that make sense? What do you think? lol #venting

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 26, 2016 at 9:23 am

      If he has not proposed in the last decade, then it seems unlikely that he will want to be married any time soon. Are you willing to wait forever and keep your relationship as it is in the hopes that he changes his mind? If you really want to get married, discuss it with him so that he knows what you want. While he does not want to have this discussion, you have been together for long enough to have it. Perhaps there is a reason he does not want to get married or he has reservations about you being his wife. Whatever the case, you deserve an answer. You also deserve to know if you are waiting around for something that will never happen. Good luck, Ann!

  4. Brittany

    August 3, 2015 at 12:51 am

    I totally agree that living together first is a great way to get to know your partner, their habits and to make sure you can both financially work together. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, have lived together for 5 of them and I’m still waiting for a ring. Marriage is talked about alot and our families bring it up all the time but he says financially he’s not ready to buy a ring and have the wedding I deserve. I know it’s in the future and that’s why I stick around. So there’s no need to rush things! Let the guy feel comfortable and do things his way and on his own time… We’ve talked about the future, getting married and having children. I am 25 and he’s 27… Still pretty young but I think it’s the perfect time to start these new journeys in our life together. I prefer to wait till I’m married to have a baby… So I hope it happens before I’m 30 😉 lol! Hope my situation and story helps some of you girls to be a little more patient and make sure your both completely ready for a long term commitment. It’s so sad to see people rush into it and end up with a divorce.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 3, 2015 at 7:39 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. As you have figured out, understanding and communication go a long way toward making a great relationship. Plus, getting married would not change your life terribly much right now–if you cannot afford a wedding or a ring, you would have to wait for a house and children anyhow. I think that your story is a great example for everyone else who feels stuck in their relationship–and your advice about waiting is great. I do not think that I know of any couple who married within a year of meeting each other who is still together. It takes a lifetime to get to know someone, and I agree with you that more time before marriage is generally better. Thanks for commenting, Brittany!

  5. brittnie

    July 30, 2015 at 5:20 am

    Ive been with my boyfriend for a few months. I love him and ive known him since we were younger. I want him to propose. He ssys he would marry me but he never makes the move the other night he said the idea scares him cuz of his last relationships. He seems commited i just dont know the deal. I want to start our life officially. I dont want to just say it but i try to drop hints idk what to do hes always sayin “ima end up marrying u” so y dont he just do it???

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 30, 2015 at 6:11 pm

      If you have only been together for a few months, then I would just keep waiting for a while. Often, people will date for a couple of years before they propose because it helps them to really know the person before they make a commitment. As he gets to know you better and fall even more in love with you, he will also learn that you are not like any of his past relationships. When that happens, he will be ready to commit to you fully. In the meantime, do not worry too much. It is probably a smart decision to hold off on making such a big commitment so quickly–at least you are with someone who thinks all of his actions through. Good luck, Brittnie!

  6. Ash

    June 15, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    19 months is not a very long time at … personally i would give it at least 2-3 years. move in together first to see how that goes because that’s knowing someone on a while different level lol… if you can live with him, then discuss engagement. Good luck!

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 16, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      I personally feel the same way about living together. With so many marriages ending in divorce, I would rather make sure that my relationship is strong enough to last before getting married. There are plenty of people who disagree about it due to religious beliefs, but at the very least, I think a long engagement is a good idea. Thanks for commenting!

  7. Krista

    December 15, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    Hey guys,

    You see, 2 weekends ago when I was with my boyfriend, he was noticing that I was wearing a ring on my right ring finger on my right hand and he asked “oh your wearing a ring’? and I said my mom gave it me years ago, its my birthstone so no any kind of ring there lol and another thing I noticed when we went to church, he touched my ring and held my hand and looked at the ring. I wonder if this is a sign of a proposal soon? I don’t want to get my hopes up but it has made me wonder for the last couple of weeks. P.S. we’ve been together for 19 months now.

    • Michelle Keldgord

      January 3, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Wow Krista, 19 months is a pretty long time! He may be trying to get ideas on what kind of ring to buy, but only time will tell. Good luck!

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