How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out

By on December 23, 2015

One of the very most frustrating things when it comes to liking a new guy is actually getting him to ask you out. You can flaunt your stuff all you want, but sometimes they just remain completely clueless. Although it can seem like there’s no hope some days and you’re doomed to spend eternity alone, you won’t have to! Here are the top 20 ways to get a guy to ask you out.

  1. Flirt a Lot

Flirting is always a perfect go-to when trying to get a guy to ask you out. It says you’re interested and looking to have some fun. Plus, flirting is a perfect way to really show someone that you’re into them. Twirl your hair, flash those pearly whites, maybe even send him a wink or two – but only if you can wink because otherwise he might just think you’ve got something stuck in your eye. Yikes!

  1. Get Noticed

If he’s single and hot, odds are you might not be the only girl trying to go for him. Put yourself in front of the crowd and really get yourself noticed by him. If he doesn’t even know you’re there, how is he supposed to ask you out? Respond to some of his conversation, laugh at his jokes, pipe in when he’s talking about a hobby that you also enjoy. Any of those are great ways to make sure he has his eye on you and not some other girl that could be standing in your way.

  1. Be Yourself


Don’t try to change yourself just so he asks you out. Too many girls out there make the mistake of pretending they like a certain band or movie just so he’ll like them. But the thing is, even if he does eventually ask you out because of those things, he’s going to soon realize you were lying and everything will be over. Being yourself may sound cliché, but there’s a reason so many people advise it. He’ll be able to tell when you’re being fake and that will NOT make him want to take you out.

  1. Compliment Him

compliment him

Any way you can make it known that you’re interested is going to get you closer to him asking you out. Girls can just get a smile from a guy and we think they like us. Guys on the other hand, well, let’s just say they’re a little more blind to whether or not someone likes them. Complimenting them will inform them of how much you like them and that will give them confidence to ask you out. Bonus points if you compliment his awesome taste in music to show that you two have something in common.

  1. Dress to Impress – But Don’t Overdress

dress to impressed

Of course you want to look good for your crush, but sometimes it can be overkill and they’ll think your outfit is over the top instead of fantastic. Dress in clothing that accentuates your most attractive features so he’ll take extra notice to them. Looking good always improves your chances that a guy will ask you out.


  1. Bring Up the Things You Have in Common

If you know he’s a die-hard Star Wars fan and you have always been obsessed with the series, too, then talk about it with him. Get the conversation rolling in that direction and bring up how you’ve always been a Star Wars nerd at heart. He will immediately be eager to talk about your common interest and this will lead him toward eventually asking you out.

  1. Maintain Eye Contact

eye contact2

Keeping eye contact lets people know that your focus is purely on them – just don’t be creepy about it. Staring into the pits of his soul is not your objective when maintaining eye contact. The great thing about eye contact is that if his eyes are on yours too, you know he’s truly in the moment.

  1. Send Signals

Blatant, clear signals are the best kind when it comes to guys. For some reason, they seem to be unaware of when a girl likes them. However, if you’re consistently bringing up new movies that are out, or people that are having concerts nearby that you want to see, maybe he’ll pick up that you’re trying to get him to ask you out and hinting at places you would want to go. Not only does it put you on his radar as potential dating material, but it gives him great date ideas, too!

  1. Smile Like You Mean It

smile like you mean it

Although this one might be automatic when you’re around someone you like, it never hurts to throw in some extra smiles here and there. Men love happy people. It makes you look kind, enjoyable, and approachable; all very important aspects they take into consideration before asking a girl out. Plus it always makes them think you’re having a good time and they will want to be a part of it.

  1. Physical Contact

Get close to him! Grab his shoulder, playfully slap his face when he says something mean/funny, and just make cute, gentle physical contact when you can. Just don’t grope him as he walks by because that is way too much and might give him the wrong impression about you (hello Ms. TryingTooHard). He’ll feel like you definitely are interested in him when you keep touching him so much and it will make him feel a lot more comfortable around you, as well. And the more comfortable he is around you, the more comfortable he’ll be asking you on an awesome date.

  1. Make Sure he Knows You’re Available

It’s one thing to be all flirty and touchy with him, but if he thinks you have a boyfriend it will certainly scare him off and he will not ask you out. Guys are not about to ask out a girl who might have a boyfriend and risk the boyfriend running after them in anger. One way to point out your noncommittal status without making it too obvious is to jokingly bring up how “single life” is getting you down and you wish you had someone to cuddle up to every now and then. It not only informs him that you’re single, but also that you’re definitely ready to mingle!

  1. Don’t be Shy

Playing the cute, shy type will only get you so far with guys. Although it can be really hard to break out of that shy shell and open up to the guy you like, it’s vital if you really want him to ask you out. He has to be able to talk to in order to ask you out, right? Right. So for the sake of your single-ness, don’t be so shy and start being more approachable.

  1. Step Away from Your Friends

Guys feel ridiculously intimidated when you’re surrounded by your friends. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons guys don’t talk to a cute girl they see. In all honesty, would you walk up to a big group of guys and start hitting on a really cute guy right there in front of all of them? No. Probably not. The same goes for guys, too. They’re too scared to face the big pack. It’s much easier for them to talk to you one on one, so make sure you spend some time away from your friends and on your own around him so he has the opportunity to really go for it.

  1. Be Charming

I know, I know. Normally a Disney Prince comes to mind when you see the word ‘charming’, or you may only think that this term relates to men. But one thing guys can’t resist is a woman with charm. This means being witty, approachable, enjoyable, funny, and enticing all at the same time. Leave him wanting you to come back after you have left the room. Make it easy for him to like you and it will make it even easier for him to ask you out.

  1. Spend Time Talking to Him

spend time talking to him

It’s really easy to admire someone from a distance, but that won’t do any good when you’re trying to get them to ask you out. How are they even going to know they want to go out with you when you’re making googly eyes behind a book from 50 feet away? Use your words! Spend some time chatting him up and getting to know a little more about him. When the conversation is over, make sure you leave him wanting to talk some more and he’ll have to ask you on a date in order to do that!

  1. Leave out Details about Yourself

As much as you should spend time talking to him, focus that conversation on him and away from yourself. Why, you ask? Because when you leave after having a really awesome conversation where the two of you mainly only talked about him, what is he going to be thinking later on? “Oh man! I didn’t get a chance to ask her this,” or, “Wait, but we never talked about her hobbies!” He’ll just be looking for opportunities to find out that information and how will he have to do that? Yes! By asking you out.

  1. Make Friends with His Friends

It may seem counterproductive to make friends with his friends when you just want him to ask you out. But if there’s one thing that guys value the most, it’s their friends’ opinions. If you get in with his friend group and they all really like you, he’s going to see that you’re high value and that will definitely make him want to ask you out. It also brings forth that competitiveness that is in a man’s nature and he may even get jealous of you talking to his friends so much – which will prompt him to grab you before someone else does!

  1. Be Confident

Be Confident

Confidence is sexy, mesmerizing, and charming. Being confident works wonders in getting a guy to ask you out. When you ooze confidence, you’re telling the world that you know who you are and what you want and you know how to get it. That type of charm is something that men drool over. He’ll be tripping over his own feet trying to run after you in order to ask you out. Trust me. Put any insecurities aside because you’re a hot little mamma who can get anyone to ask her out.

  1. Be Humorous

Be Humorous

Have you ever wondered why so many goofy girls get all the great guys? It’s because they have a killer sense of humor. Laughter can make anyone like you more and when people like you, they tend to ask you out. Having a great sense of humor will keep him smiling and laughing. It will make him crave that feeling when you’re not around and he’ll have to ask you out in order to get it back.

  1. Ask him out!

If all else fails because he’s clueless, unobservant, or maybe even just shy, then put your big girl panties on and ask him yourself! It’s almost 2016. You can ask him out if you really want to go out with him and he’s just not picking up on any of your signals. The best way to do this is to start by having a fun, flirty conversation and just ask him if he wants to continue it over dinner and some drinks. If things are going well, he’ll definitely say yes. And who knows, maybe he’ll ask YOU out for the second date!

Men can be some of the simplest, yet most complex creatures out there. When it might seem hopeless for him to ask you out, give these 20 tips a try and he’ll practically be crawling after you for a date. Have you tried any of these tips in the past and they’ve worked great? Let us know just how beneficial they were to you below!


  1. Kendall

    February 2, 2016 at 7:28 pm

    also what cute notes could i give him and put in his locker especially since valentine’s day is coming up

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 6, 2016 at 11:59 am

      We have a number of different articles on Her Interest with flirty or romantic texting ideas, quotes and messages. Go ahead and check out the articles, and you may find a message that works perfectly for you. Good luck and happy Valentine’s Day!

  2. Kendall

    February 2, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    how do you get the confidence to tell a boy you like him or even ask him out i mean i like this boy and i couldn’t even imagine asking him out he is so cute and awesome and we talk pretty often i don’t know if he likes me or not though. What are some flirty things that i could say in middle school and some ways i could use the touch barrier to signal to him i like him?

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 6, 2016 at 11:58 am

      Touch his elbow or shoulder when you are around him. You don’t have to be super flirty because just talking to him more often could clue him in to how you feel. Talk to him, flirt with him and see where things go. If you feel like he might be interested, go ahead and tell him how you feel. You will never know if he likes you or not unless you take the risk of just telling him how you feel. He may not like you, but at least you will find out and know not to waste your time. Plus, he could be interested, so this could be the start of a wonderful relationship. Good luck, Kendall!

  3. Matthew Coast

    January 3, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    I love that “Ask Him Out” is the last one. Classic!

  4. Ruby

    December 26, 2015 at 6:46 am

    So i have been friends with a guy named Javier. We have been friends for 2 years. I met him when i took sunday classes at my church for confirmation. We like to talk to each other, laugh and have fun. We did that so much that he even got my number. Since he is a guy i started to like him a little bit, but at the same time i didn’t want to get attached to him because we both went to diffrent schools and the only way we could see each other is at the sunday classes. When the sunday classes were over, on the last day i was alittle sad because i can’t see him anymore. We still texted each other and kept in touch. Then i started to date a guy named Rudy. I liked him for a little while and since the last time i dated at that time was 3 years ago i thought to myself why not. So when Rudy asked me out the first thing i thought was Javier. I wanted him to ask me out. I thought again and figured that there was no way javier was going to ask me out because we went to diffrent schools. So i said yes to rudy. I broke up with him a month later. When i told Javier that he was so helpful to me. He told me that everything will be fine and i will find the right guy for me. Just 2 weeks ago Javier asked me out on a date, i told him why a date? He said becuase he liked me ever since i took that sunday class with him. He liked me and i didn’t even know it. I told him if he liked any girls from his school and to be honest about it, he said no, he likes the way i smile, laugh and my personality. So we went on our date at the movies, i thought to myself i finally get to be with a guy who was loyal enough to me from the beginning. Even when i dated rudy he still liked me. When Javier kissed me he told me if i wanted to date him. I felt alittle guilty for dating Rudy and not waiting long enough to be with javier. I told him no because its only been one month since i broke up with my ex, i do like javier i do. But i felt like things were going to fast. Javier understand me. He even told me that hes going to transfer to my school becuase he didn’t like his school and he wants to be with me. If i did date Javier then he would be the third guy i dated. I told him how i gelt I dont want to date alot of guys because i dont want to seem like a hoe or anything. Did i make the right choice? Is Javier worth the chance to date him?

    • Bella Pope

      December 26, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      Hi Ruby!

      Honestly, I think that you’re in a mindset where you’re trying to make everyone else happy and this is interfering with what you really want. Overall, if Javier was there for you the whole time you were dating someone else and after you two broke up, then he seems like he’s truly there for you and cares for you. You should also never let anyone else thinking you’re a “hoe” to stop you from being happy with someone. The amount of people you date is 100% up to you and anyone else’s opinions should never matter when it comes to your happiness.
      My advice is to do what will make you happiest. You’re allowed to be selfish in your love life. If Javier makes you truly happy, then be with him! Forget what anyone else has to say.

      Good luck with everything!

      XO- Bella

      • web admin

        web admin

        December 26, 2015 at 7:05 pm

        That is really good advice, Bella–I am glad that you left it. Thanks for commenting!

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 26, 2015 at 6:59 pm

      I think that Javier is certainly worth the chance of dating. You never know how a relationship will ultimately work out, but it seems like you are off to a good start. I would not feel so badly about dating Rudy first though–you had no way of knowing that Javier liked you before, and it is normal to have a crush on more than one guy. Plus, you only dated for a month, so it is not like it was that serious or long term. Once you have healed from your break up enough to know that Javier is not just a rebound (which it seems unlikely that he could be since you liked him before you dated Rudy), then go ahead and start dating Javier and become a couple. It seems like Javier is ready whenever you are, so you just have to decide if you are ready for another relationship yet or not.

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