How to Get a Guy Back

By on January 31, 2014






The relationship is over and you are all alone again. Even if things are officially over, it is normal to wish things were back the way that they were. You are tired of wondering what could have happened and want to restart the relationship. Although this may not be the right choice for everyone, it can work in some situations. As long as the relationship did not end due to cheating or a major falling out, there is still hope. You can rebuild your relationship if you are able to follow the next ten tips.

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Collect Your Feelings

It may seem like an obvious first step, but getting your emotions together can seem next to impossible. Until you are whole again, you cannot try to be with someone romantically. You have to stop blaming yourself for the breakup and feeling guilty for how things ended. Once you have figured out where you stand emotionally, you will be better able to decide if you want to truly pursue the relationship again. Let your heart take a break and gather your thoughts.

Avoid Expressing Your Feelings Too Soon

After a glass of wine and night of romance movies, it may seem far too easy to tell your ex how you feel. Rambling about your emotions will not help to get him back. Desperation, pity and clingy behaviors are never attractive emotions. Wait until you can control your feelings and express yourself constructively.

Avoid Sex

Sure, you have slept with your ex in the past, but that does not mean you should do so now. Having sex with him while you are not together will only complicate matters. It may be difficult, but you have to avoid sleeping with him until the relationship is sorted out completely.

Unpredictability Is Key

Sometimes, relationships end because people become bored of one another. You or your ex may have become too predictable and it can ruin the relationship. When you want to get things started again, you should try being unpredictable. Studies have shown that an aura of mystery or unpredictability can cause hormones to spike. These hormones help to produce feelings of love. Try doing something new or planning a different activity together.

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Let Him Have Space

A breakup could just be a break. For both of you to gain perspective, you need to take a step back and spend some time alone. You should stop calling or texting him. Avoid using friends to send messages and give him space. If your love is true, the absence will help him remember why he was with you in the first place. In addition, it will help any breakup arguments to blow over. If you try to deal with the breakup immediately, you both may say things that you do not mean.

Dress to the Nines

We are all attracted to beautiful things. Although your personality is why he stayed in the relationship, a little lipstick never heart. Let him see the attractive woman he was once in love with. Even when heartbreak is at its worst, keep your appearance up and make your outfits shine.

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Time to Draw Him In

Now that you have sorted out your feelings, given him space and enticed him with your appearance, it is time to draw him closer to you. You can ask him out to a bar or watch a sports game with him. If you still are not ready to see him in person, you can always send him a text or make a phone call. Just make sure that you do not release all of your pent up emotions right away. Take your time and draw him closer to you.

Be Fun

Life is serious, but we do not want to spend all of our time bogged down in difficult matters. Be fun and flirty while you are around your ex. If they are appropriate, try using some compliments or jokes to lighten the mood. Flirt like you did when you first met and bring his interest levels up.

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Admit Where You Went Wrong

Relationships involve two people and breakups are due to both partners. You probably did something wrong at some point, so it is time to admit your faults. Avoid begging or crying for a new chance and just honestly tell him about your mistakes. If he is worth your time, he will respond with an apology of his own.

Space May Be Needed

Yes, this is on the list twice. You needed space after the breakup and you both may need space again while you are considering a relationship again. It may seem like the relationship process is taking longer than necessary, but it takes a while to unwind any complications. Unless you are both emotionally ready to date again, the rekindled romance will not work out.





2 Comments

  1. Karen

    May 5, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    I think that the most important part is to only once let him know how you truly feel, and then give him the space he needs. In the meantime try to go on with your life. So him that your life goes on without you. The fact that you are not a total train-wreck without him will drive him mad, and soon he will want you back.

    • Courtney Pocock

      March 19, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      Your tip is a good one. You certainly do not want to spend weeks just waiting for him to change his mind. Getting on with your life makes you more attractive to him. It also makes you more attractive to someone else if things do not ultimately work out.

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