How to Get a Boyfriend in Middle School

By on April 1, 2015

Alright girls, so you are hoping to figure out how to get a boyfriend in middle school. Often some of the things we do can actually scare guys away so we are going to talk about those things. Luckily, it’s not that hard and if you just relaxed and focus on being a good person, the right guy will come along when he’s supposed to.


Don’t Smother Him

The number one thing you should never do is smother a guy. You shouldn’t talk to him every time you see him and you shouldn’t call or text him all the time. If you’re interested in him that’s great but if you become obsessed with him, he will not want to hang out with you. Guys are attracted to girls who don’t need them to be happy. Girls who have strong friendships, are involved in school activities and do their best at everything are more likely to attract a nice boy.


Have Your Own Interests

Don’t think about him all the time, make time to focus on your favorite activities and to hang out with your friends. If he sees that you are good at things, he will be impressed. If he sees that people like you because you’re really nice and fun to hang out with, he will want to hang out with you too. Don’t try to be make trouble in class or skip class to impress him. You don’t have to break the rules to get a nice guy to like you. If any guy tries to encourage you to do something against the rules, he’s probably not going to do well in school and he might not be that nice to you either.


Work On Building Your Friendships

If you really know how to be a good friend and have strong friendships, he will notice that quality and feel comfortable with you. If you don’t make an effort to be friends with people, he probably won’t want to be friends with you. We have to make an effort to be nice to people and treat them with kindness in order for people to also be kind to us.


Get To Know Him and Be Patient

Even if you think you like a guy, just get to know him better to see if you actually have some things in common. You may spend some time together with his friends and realize they are all jerks and you don’t feel comfortable with how they choose to spend their time. You want a boyfriend that is considerate and will try to be a good person. It’s important that you don’t rush getting a boyfriend so you don’t end up dating a dud.



Have A Fun Sense of Style

Make an effort to be stylish and comfortable so your natural beauty is highlighted. Guys love girls that smell nice and take pride in being put together. Again, don’t be desperate and wear really revealing clothing because the good guys don’t go for that look. They want a girl who is confident, smart and kind.


Chat With Him After Class

If you like a guy you shouldn’t ignore him completely. Just be friendly and sometimes (not all the time) chat with him after class. You don’t have to tell him you like him, just ask him how his day is going and how his classes are going. Try not to always talk about school work because we know that can be very boring.


Find Someone That Likes What You Like

middle school boyfriend

If you want to find a boyfriend, you should see which guys like the things that you’re into. If you love student government maybe you will find another guy in your class that does too. Think about it, if you’re in the band and always going to band practice, it will be easy to talk to him and hang out with him and you could help each other practice too.


Don’t Like The Guy That All The Girls Like

Here’s some advice to keep you from getting frustrated when you want to get a boyfriend. Don’t like the guy that all the other girls like. Often the guys that get all the attention end up with a big head and get so used to that attention that they end up just flirting with everyone. It’s not fun to date a guy that flirts with everyone.


Smile And Say Hi When You See Him

If there is a certain guy you have a crush on you can get him to notice you by smiling at him. It’s a very simple way to see if he likes you back and maybe once he starts to notice you more, he will start to like you. Sometimes boys are distracted but when you get their attention, they might realize how nice you are. Remember, if he doesn’t seem to notice you, don’t worry there are plenty of other guys out there that will appreciate you. Don’t hold onto the idea of dating someone too firmly because it will only make you unhappy if you sit around wishing he likes you back.


Exchange Numbers

Exchange numbers so you can get to know each other. You can text each other and talk on the phone but let him reach out to you sometimes too so you know that he likes you. If you’re the one always reaching out to him, he might not like you back. Also don’t call or text him late at night because you want to be respectful when he’s sleeping. If he’s not responding to you, he may not be interested so don’t keep calling. Also try to keep the conversations positive and don’t complain about things. Ask him how he is doing and encourage him. Maybe find some way you can help him with something but never gossip.


Always Speak Kindly About Others

It’s really important that you keep your words about others positive when you speak to your friends and to your crush. If people know that you are a gossiper it makes you look bad and can ruin your reputation.


Try To Be Happy and Fun

The more positive you can be, the more guys will want to be around you. If you can always have a smile and always have something nice to say about someone else, people will really enjoy your company. We can always choose to have a great day and help others keep smiling by being nice to them. Guys will notice how nice you are and you’re more likely to find a nice guy if you act like this.


Be Nice To Everyone and Don’t Just Think About Yourself

Thinking of other people helps others know that you are going to look out for them and helps them trust that you’re really a good person. Try to get involved with community service or volunteer and people will respect you. When you see someone struggling with their homework, don’t make fun of them, see if you can help them. Don’t be a know it all but just offer your kindness whenever you can. It’s just human nature that guys will like nice people and the more we show that we are a good person through our actions, the better our chances of attracting a high quality guy are.


Participate In Class

If you focus on your schoolwork and get good grades, a nice guy will like that you are smart. Girls that don’t pay attention in class and don’t care about their schoolwork aren’t really that impressive to guys. Remember if a guy only likes you because he thinks your pretty, the relationship will only be superficial but if he likes you because of who you are, it’s more likely to be a great bond.


Always Do Your Best

When we always put our best foot forward whether it’s in sports, art or math class, we show that we really care about doing our best. Putting in effort, even if we aren’t that good at things is a great quality to have. Don’t worry about what other people think of you, just know that you’re doing your best. A nice guy will notice if you go above and beyond in your school projects or work hard to be the best athlete so don’t be afraid to shine!


See If He Likes You Back

If you’re getting the feeling that he likes you, you’ll probably know. If he flirts with all the girls, don’t be fooled and think that he likes you. If he is different around you than around the other girls and goes out of his way to talk to you, chances are he likes you. Give him an opportunity to tell you by talking to him after school or going to a sports game together. You don’t ever have to force yourself to tell him you like it, just let it happen naturally and don’t worry about it. You’re in no rush!


Make Sure He Treats You Respectfully

If he says he’s going to call you but always forgets, that’s not very respectful. If he makes fun of you or is rude to you, don’t waste your time trying to get him to like you. Wait until there is a nice guy who you like and work on getting to know him. The boys that like to break the rules and show off usually don’t know how to treat girls well at all and they are immature and just want attention.

Just be confident in yourself and know that the right guy will come along. Don’t try to force anything and keep up with your friends because they will usually last longer than a boyfriend does anyway!


  1. keke

    October 9, 2016 at 10:50 pm

    What do u do when a guy’s stares at u in class?

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 10, 2016 at 11:31 am

      You could try to talk to him! He might be interested in you, so he tries to look at you whenever he thinks that you are not paying attention. Or, he could be bored and not realize that he is just staring at you. Either way, say hello and see how he responds. If he likes you, he will probably try to keep the conversation going or seem bashful when you talk to him. Good luck, Keke!

  2. Lexi

    September 24, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    I haven’t liked anyone for years but my bff dared me to date someone in my school for a while and I couldn’t chicken out and I promised her I would date someone this year and I’m in 8th grade I’ve never had a relationship what the heck do I do I really need help😭

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 25, 2016 at 11:15 am

      If you want to develop a relationship with someone and you are concerned that the relationship may be short or that you will not want it to last, then be clear and direct with your future potential partner. Find someone who you trust and that may want to develop a long term relationship. If the dare was for you to date someone specifically, then share your thoughts with that person. It is likely that they will like your plan and will be interested in having a practice or real relationship. Always remember to be mindful and respectful with your partner, Lexi!

  3. lana

    September 23, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    I like this boy. and he likes me back ,but the only problems is he has a boyfriend. what should I do

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 25, 2016 at 10:39 am

      Hello, it seems as though your problem is two fold. Firstly, it is possible that he is interested in continuing having relationships with other men. However, people change over time and you may find that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Though, it is important to note that he is in a relationship at this time and it would be unwise to harm their relationship for your personal gain. Remain friends with this person and see where your relationship goes to the future. Thank you for your question, Lana.

  4. Angel

    March 19, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    I like this guy and he likes me. I don’t really get how to get him to be my boyfriend because I’m not allowed to have on. I’m not allowed to date either. Could you help me? Plz respond.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 23, 2016 at 11:07 pm

      If you are not allowed to have a boyfriend, there is nothing to worry about. Become friends with this guy and see what happens. If you are friends, then you will already have a relationship to build on if and when your parents allow you to date. Until then, there is nothing else that you can do.

      • miya

        May 4, 2016 at 8:17 pm

        how do i get a boyfriend i need true anwsers and i dont care what happens i need help can you give me some advice

        • web admin

          web admin

          May 9, 2016 at 7:26 am

          Find a guy you like, start getting to know him better, flirt a bit and ask him out when you feel like he could like you. There really is not a simple formula for getting a boyfriend other than finding someone you like and asking them out. Good luck, Miya!

    • Lexi

      September 24, 2016 at 6:14 pm

      Ask him out!

  5. kayla

    December 27, 2015 at 7:21 am

    So I have a good friend of mine i’m in seventh grade and i really like this guy he’s cute,funny,and he’s a good guy and a slight bit of a bad boy 😉 I really like him but i don’t know if he likes me. The only thing is he used to date one of my best friends . But they are over each other. We talk a lot and we have definitely broke the touch barrier everyday at lunch or recess he’ll just walk by and grab my hips for some reason. Then after he does that sometimes he walks away licks his lips and smiles. He is such a great guy and i really want me and him to be together. How should i find out if he likes me or not. Also what are some cute flirty things to say in middle school that should make him smile?

    Please,Please,Please reply web admin I really need an answer

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 31, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      It sounds like he could like you–at least, he is doing some of the signs of being interested. We have some articles on topics like “How to Tell If a Guy Likes You” or flirty text messages to send your crush. Although some of them might not be right for middle school, you can read through the text ideas to find some that will work. Good luck, Kayla!

      • kayla

        January 19, 2016 at 7:22 pm

        okay i have a really hard time with becoming confident enough to even talk to him i mean we talk sometimes but like what can i talk to him about and what kind of things can i do to get him to know i like him and is it true guys like to be touched at the small of the back because it turns them on

        • web admin

          web admin

          January 20, 2016 at 10:02 am

          We have a few articles on questions to ask your crush or things to ask your crush. You could check them out on Her Interest to get some ideas about what to say. I am not sure about touching him on the small of the back because it really varies from guy to guy. Touching him on the small of his back will indicate that you like him though since any type of physical touch is a sign of flirting. Good luck, Kayla!

  6. Mya

    November 29, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    I kind of like this boy in my middle school and he is in the same grade as me, but not the same class. We are best friends and I’m scared to tell him how I feel. I’m mostly scared that he will look at me in a different way, and never want to talk to me again. I try to ask him who he likes, but he just says nobody really quickly after I ask the question. I really want to know if he likes me the way I like him. Please, please, please give me some advice on what I should do.

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 30, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      There is a chance that he likes you too. You guys are friends, so you must have a number of things in common already. Plus, he was unwilling to tell you who he liked and said no one really a bit too quickly for that to be true. You can just sit him down, tell him how you feel and make sure to emphasize that you don’t want anything to change in your friendship, even if his answer is no. Good luck, Mya!

    • kayla

      December 28, 2015 at 12:51 am

      how long did it take for them to reply to your comment

      • web admin

        web admin

        December 31, 2015 at 8:49 pm

        It all depends on the number of comments and time of day. I approve of them manually, so I have to be able to get through and answer each comment before it is posted. If you commented previously, it should already be up on the website. Thanks, Kayla!

  7. Renae Bordeleau

    November 24, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    How do I know if my crush likes me


    • web admin

      web admin

      November 26, 2015 at 3:13 am

      We actually have an article on our website about this topic called “How to Tell If a Guy Likes You”. Additionally, there are a number of other articles on similar topics. You can check them out and see if your crush is doing any of the signs in the article. Good luck, Renae!

  8. Renae

    November 24, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    i like this kid at school lets say his name is Nathan and he noes I like him I want him to like me too but I don’t know if he does I wish i did and then I found out that this other boy like me and he’s just my friend and then he told me he likes me and asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no and now he ignores me and doesn’t talk to me and I want to still be friends with him and so like now he is not my friend and we used to best friends now he ignores me and then Nathan talks to me but me a lot and he smiles every time he sees me so does he like ma or not I don’t know and I wish I did and the very first day I met him I liked him and now I feel like I just wast my time thinking about it ( I know this is a little long but can you please reply)

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 26, 2015 at 3:04 am

      Now that you rejected your friend, he may not be able to get over it. He probably became your friend originally to get closer to you and to see if you liked him back. Nathan could like you, but there is no way of knowing for sure. He could think that you are nice and smiles at you, or he could be interested. We actually have an article on Her Interest that covers “How to Tell If a Guy Likes You”. You could check out the article and see if he does any of those signs. In the meanwhile, try to become friends with Nathan and talk to him more often–that way, he will have a chance to get to know you and like you in case he does not already. Good luck, Renae!

  9. Kassy

    November 15, 2015 at 8:23 am

    Hello, web admin, I have some question on this a boy I like. And in your rules it says don’t like a boy every girl likes. Well, guess what I do! And I feel stupid for that and the thing is I REALLY like him. But my friend used to like him and one day she was like I want him and I was like me too. and she was like really and I was no just kidding(nervous laugh). And is it bad for him to know I like him? He told me at some point he did like me but he doesn’t like anymore so what should I do? Keep talking to him but not all the time? Distance myself?Please help I really need it!!!

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 16, 2015 at 4:43 pm

      Even though your chances are slim when you like a guy everyone likes, he has to end up liking someone–why can’t it be you? :) If he did like you before, then keep talking to him and remain friends. Being around you may be able to spark his interest again and get him to start having feelings. There are no guarantees, but it is more likely that he will fall for you again if you keep talking to him. Good luck, Kassy!

  10. Moya

    November 6, 2015 at 3:40 am

    Well here I go so I like this guy he talks to me on the bus or he just looks at me for a long time but he has a girlfriend but she is cheating on every time I try to talk to him I get a little nervous .The problem is that he was my bff ex but now she hates him so I’m wondering if I should tell him I like him?I know that he likes to talk to me and he told his cuz that he liked me she told me.

    I really need answers plz

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 8, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      I think that you should respect the fact that he is in a relationship and not tell him about your feelings. Continue being friends with him and perhaps flirt with him a bit because it does not sound like his relationship is going to last for long, so it would probably be a good idea to stay friends with him in case it ends. If he does end up breaking up with her, then you will be in a good place to make a move–although you also may want to check with your best friend and make sure that she does not mind. Good luck, Moya!

  11. Meg

    June 30, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Hi! So I like this boy(let’s call him Dylan). Last year, my best friend liked him, and at the end of the year, before she would move schools, she wanted to tell him on presentation night. But the whole night was awkward cause I kept catching him looking at me (totally something I’m not used to, maybe it was cause I straightened my hair and I actually looked nice…), and I couldn’t tell my bff that or she’d never tell him. In the end, she told him and he was shocked and couldn’t even really say anything to her. And I may have gone a little b*tch mode on him cause he just walked away. The whole holidays, I felt so bad about being b*tchy to him on that night, and I guess somehow, after thinking about him so much, I ended up liking him. My bff is fine with it (not that I talk with her a lot anymore, as she’s acting a little stuck up now she goes to a private school, and me and my old freind from primary school are bffs again). So next year, we have deb, but people are already getting partners organised. I wasn’t planning on asking him, but my friends convinced me to somehow. I was walking with him after bio (just us two alone) and I tried asking but I got all nervous and started stuttering, I just told him to not worry, but he encouraged me to go on with what I wanted to say, and I asked if he was going and stuff and he said maybe (at this point, I was over trying to ask him, I’d already embarrassed myself enough!), and then he asked me if I was planning on going, and I said “well, if I can find a guy who’d actually like to go with me, then yes, I’d like to.” and then he asked me to deb! So ever since then, we’re talking more than ever now!

    So last week, my friend had a party, and I knew he was coming, so I made extra effort to look nice! I knew that my old bff(the girl who moved schools) too, and it’s be the first time all 3 of us would be in the same room! Anyway, the second I walked in, Dylan’s bff nudged him and they were both looking, and I smiled and walked past, following the birthday girl to put away my stuff in her room. Anyway, when I came back, Dylan was looking and looked away when I caught him looking, My friends all were trying to get me over to him and talk with him, but I just couldn’t; I had nothing to say and didn’t want to seem desperate(cause everyone teases us now whenever we’re together all cause of the deb thing). Anyway, we didn’t talk for the whole first hour, and there was no sign of my old bff, and I was really happy for that. But she came in the end(an hour and half after the party started :/ ) and she came up to find me cause we hadn’t seen each other in more than 6 months now. Anyway, she was talking with me when Dylan and his best friend (lets call him Nate) came up and Nate just went in for a hug with her, and I was pretty offended that both of them didn’t even say anything to me the whole night, but the second they see the old bff, there hugging and stuff. Anyway, Nate looks at me and was like to Dylan, “come on, give her a hug” motioning to my old bff. Dylan awkwardly hugs her, and looks at me, but by then I already turned around and walked away quickly. I was pretty hurt (and jealous!).

    I ended up talking to Dylan before he came to me, and we talked and stuff. But my old bff would keep coming up when we were together, and I was getting pretty pissed. Like she already got a hug from him, what more did she want?! At one point I just left them two talking there cause she wouldn’t include me in the convo. I pretended that it didn’t hurt me, but it did. I just kept dancing with everyone else, and my old bff would try talking to me, but I would wave her off by saying that I was dancing(cause I was!) and she’s an awkward dancer, so she didn’t try and dance! I honestly just lost it and danced with no shame with all my other friends, and they kept telling me Dylan is looking (my back was to him) at me and Nate’s nudging him, and smirking looking between me and Dylan. I did see him looking at me a few times

    Before my old bff left, she gave him another hug (to my anger). And he actually hugged her back this time properly. It hurt like a b*tch. Sometimes he acts as if he likes me,but then he doesn’t. I mean, he even gave me a hug before I left(just as I was walking out the front passage to the door(alone), he comes and gives me a hug), but I’m just so confused. Does he like me or is he regretting not making a move on my old bff?

    So sorry this is so long! But please reply!:)
    -Meg xxx

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 30, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      I think you are overly worried about nothing. She asked for a hug and tried hugging him. Short of turning her away, there is not much that he could do about it. He may regret not taking her up on her offer a long time ago, but it does not seem like he cares enough to change his mind about it now. He asked you out to DEB, and he plans on going with you. Plus, he spent the whole night watching you, and even tried to give you a guy despite your anger at him. All in all, it seems like he is really into you, so I would not worry too much about it. Talk to him more often and hang out with him! He asked you to the dance, so he is obviously interested!

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