How to Flirt With a Shy Guy

By on December 10, 2013






If you have your sights set on a shy guy, you may need to adapt your flirting techniques a little bit, to better suit his personality. Introverted guys tend to spend a lot of time with their heads in the clouds, and they may find it difficult to approach girls – which makes your task a bit more difficult. So, how can you flirt with a shy guy, and let him know that you’re interested in him? Below are some tips that you might find useful for flirting with an introverted guy.

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Making the first move

If you’re  interested in a shy guy, chances are that you will have to make the first move by approaching him, instead of waiting for him to come to you. Generally all you need to do is begin by making eye contact, and smiling when he catches your eye. You can then move on to greeting him, introducing yourself, and starting a conversation about something that you have in common.

For example, if you share a class together, go up to him afterwards and start talking about the coursework or the lecture that you’ve just had. Keep your interaction friendly and brief, so that you don’t overwhelm him – he’s probably not used to having girls approach him!

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Slowly but surely, increase the intensity

Once you’ve broken the ice with your first introduction, you can slowly but surely increase the intensity of your flirting.  Beware of coming on too strong, as he might get self-conscious and withdraw. Rather, respect his boundaries and get to know him over time. Compliment him without embarrassing him, and remember that because he is introverted, he may find it hard to accept a compliment or thank you for it. Nevertheless, he will appreciate your interest, and it may give him a clue as to your romantic feelings for him.

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Spell it out

Once he’s comfortable talking to you and you’ve developed a friendship, you can start to make it clear that you are interested in him as a potential boyfriend. Introverted guys spend a lot of time inside their own heads, and they may be completely unaware that you like them in a romantic way! Some (but not all) introverts also suffer from low self-esteem, and so he might not think that you would want him as a boyfriend.

Showing your interest may reassure him and give him a bit of confidence. Although being so open with your feelings may be a bit risky, as he might withdraw or might not feel the same way, it’s worth a try. Share your feelings in a general and non-threatening way – for example, through flirting and breaking the touch barrier (touching his arm, giving him a hug, etc). Chances are he might not even realise that you fancy him until you make it very clear.

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 Give him an opportunity to make a move

Once you’ve made the first move, you may not have to continue to take control of the whole relationship. Shy guys may be introverted (which means that they prefer to be alone, and feel uncomfortable around lots of people), or they may just be shy! Your guy may feel shy around new people, or struggle with asking girls out, but once you get to know him he may show you his true personality. Once he’s confident enough to make a move, you can take a step back and let him flirt to his heart’s content.

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Be patient…

The object of your affection may take his time to build up the confidence to flirt back. Since he’s used to his own company, flirting may be new to him. Be patient while he processes his feelings, and you may be rewarded with a unique insight into his inner world. If you try to rush him, or question his feelings, he may withdraw into his own thoughts. However, don’t feel bad if you’re tired of waiting – sometimes personalities simply clash, and you may be happier dating someone more extroverted.

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Accept him for who he is

A shy guy is unlikely to change, no matter how much you want him to. If you want to get involved with an introverted guy, be prepared to accept him for who he is – a quiet, complicated guy who only shares himself with those who are close to him.

Your flirting may be awkward in the beginning, he may seem distant at times, and you might feel that you’re coming on too strong, but with a little bit of understanding and perseverance, you can build up a strong and meaningful relationship. And if you’re an introvert or a shy girl, you might just have found your perfect match.

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