40 Relationship Questions to Ask a Guy
Every relationship comes with a unique set of positives and negatives. One of the most common problems among partners is a lack of communication. As your relationship progresses, it is far too easy for your to become mired in the day-to-day aspects of life and forget about the things that once mattered. Each partner needs to learn how to communicate their needs to prevent a breakdown from occurring.
Finding the Solution
Although there are seldom basic solutions for relationship issues, there are a few steps that you can take toward remedying matters. To start with, you will need to find ways to improve communication. Schedule times where you and your partner can talk to each other in a one-on-one environment. Having alone time will enable you to have a guaranteed moment for addressing any ongoing issues or arguments. When your relationship is going well, this time can also be used to ask each other questions. Even if you have been together for years, there are always questions that can help you to learn more about your partner. To begin the process of understanding your boyfriend or husband, try using some of the following questions.
1. What could do that could cause us to separate or pull apart?
Obviously, the goal is not to pull away from your boyfriend, so find out in advance what you should NOT do.
2. What activities should we do to become closer as a couple?
From hiking to late night cuddling, there are plenty of activities that can bring you two closer together.
3. Do we ever need time apart or space?
Normally, a request for extra space is viewed as a bad thing and a surprise. If you talk about your personal requirements in advance, it doesn’t have to be viewed as a negative thing.
4. What changes could I do that would make you happier?
There are always ways to make each other’s lives better. Find out how you can improve your boyfriend’s day-to-day existence.
5. How can we both feel fulfilled and accepted even when we want different things?
When it comes to compromise, you have to make sure that both sides “win” arguments with roughly the same frequency. Otherwise, one person in the relationship may feel like their opinion is not respected.
6. You have expectations from me. What are your expectations from yourself?
What we expect from ourselves can often be more illuminating than what we expect from other people.
7. What happens if one of us needs more space someday?
You need to know if he will want extra space (Question number 3), but you also need to know what happens if you want extra space. Will he be okay with you going on a meditation retreat alone or scheduling a girls’ trip to Vegas?
8. Are there aspects of how I talk or communicate that push you away from me?
Chances are that no one has ever told you if you screech when you are angry or if you have a pushy communication style. While both of you are calm, you should ask if there is any aspect of your communication style that you should change.
9. We’ve both been in relationships before. What makes this relationship different? What are you willing to do for me that you were not willing to do before?
Find out what makes your relationship unique—or if it is unique to him.
10. What are your dreams for us?
Discover if he really sees you guys together in the future.
11. What should we do when we both have bad days?
A plan in advance can help prevent a bad day from becoming a worst day.
12. What do you think of public displays of affection?
You need to know in advance what his expectations for affectionate behavior are.
13. What should I never say (even when I am angry)?
A pet peeve or childhood nickname could make an argument spiral out of control quickly. Learn what you should avoid saying in advance.
14. If I am unable to get your attention, what should I do?
Hint: Jumping up and down while shouting “Look at me!” does not cut it.
15. Is there a relationship or a couple that you think is the ideal?
Use this question to find out what he expects in terms of intimacy and relationship style.
16. What should we do to explain what we want sexually?
You obviously do not want to offend him by offering a change of position or ideas, so find out in advance how you can broach the subject of “mixing it up” in the future.
17. How should we go about avoiding an argument?
There may be some words or a particular subject that sets him out. If you know what it is in advance, you can prevent an argument.
18. What is one lesson that I can learn from you?
If he has a favorite hobby or subject, this could be an opportunity for both of you to grow closer as a couple.
19. Are there any financial problems or situations that could lead to recurring issues?
Financial problems are one of the top reasons why couples argue. Prevent a future fight by negotiating these issues early on in the relationship.
20. What should we do when we cannot agree on something important?
Figuring out how to manage arguments is one of the features of successful relationships.